First Kiss
by debraelq
Summary: In his fantasies, being this close to Finn was heavenly, but in reality the sudden intimacy was overwhelming. Kurt's first kiss.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.

A/N: This story starts after Preggers. Although it follows the timeline of the show somewhat, some things happen and others don't. It will be clear when you read it, so don't worry.

First Kiss

Chapter One

Kurt stared, his mouth open in disbelief, at the person in front of him. Finn was looking gorgeous, wearing one of Kurt's favorite outfits on him. The long-sleeved blue plaid shirt was open to reveal a dark blue t-shirt that fondly hugged his chest and a pair of faded jeans that fit nicely (although, sadly, they were not as tight as Kurt's skinny jeans). It wasn't Finn's attire, however, that had him speechless. Instead, it was the question he had just asked.

"Let me see if I understand you correctly. You want _me_ to help you with your dancing?" He looked at him suspiciously. He just couldn't believe Finn would want his help.

"Never mind," Finn said, obviously self-conscious about having to ask for help. "Forget it." As he turned to walk away, Kurt came to his senses.

"No, I mean…of course, I'll help you. I'm just surprised you didn't ask someone else, like Rachel."

Kurt was just barely able to keep the jealous tone out of his voice. He could see the way Finn looked at her and it bothered him a lot. She was okay and all, although a bit of a diva, but Rachel definitely didn't deserve him.

"It's just…" Finn said, a little embarrassed, "I almost dropped her in practice. And everyone else can dance. I'm just not that good at it. I think if I had someone helping me…just not in front of everyone, I could get it." Then he smiled that sweet smile Kurt loved so much. "And you're a really good dancer, and you won't make fun of me."

"I am good," Kurt admitted, smiling back at him. "But you know, you're better than you think. I wouldn't necessarily call you graceful but you have a certain quality in the way you dance…an energy that is very…"

Kurt hesitated.

"What?"

This was a sentence Kurt was _not_ about to finish. Did he really almost tell Finn that he thought he was sexy?

Instead, he waved his arms around. "Well, you know."

"Um, not really. But that's okay. I just want this to be perfect…for Rachel."

Kurt was not usually a malicious person, except when someone got slushie on his one of his Marc Jacobs jackets, but he was really beginning to not like Rachel at all. That was interesting, considering he felt no ill will toward Quinn, Finn's actual girlfriend.

"I just have to get this right, Kurt."

He could tell that Finn was very stressed about the whole thing.

"Don't panic, I can help," Kurt said, with a grin. He didn't care why Finn wanted his help. This was his chance to get close to the man he adored.

"Thanks," Finn said with relief. "Do you think we could work on it now?"

"Sure. Let's go over some of the steps and then we will add the music." Kurt knew that he sometimes came off as bossy, but in this instance, it was necessary. Finn felt lost, and Kurt had to help him gain his confidence back.

"Just pretend I'm Rachel," he added.

They worked on the steps for the next fifteen minutes, going over each one until Finn had them down perfectly. They were working on the duet. Finn led, since Kurt was doing Rachel's part, even though Kurt suspected Rachel would lead if given the chance.

"Now as we go into the spin, put your hands on my waist and lift me into the air."

"But what if I drop you?"

"Don't worry. All you have to do is lift me up and keep me steady. I will do the rest."

Finn didn't seem too sure as Kurt pushed the button on the boom box to start the music.

They did the steps leading up to the spin, flawlessly. Kurt was amazed they were doing so well. Finn had picked it up quickly. He just needed some encouragement.

Kurt was actually the one having trouble concentrating with Finn so close to him. Thank goodness his body knew what to do.

Every time they touched Kurt felt the heat even through his clothes. It seemed to burn into him, like a brand. He wondered if Finn felt it, as well. If he did, he was able to hide it.

As they started the spin, Kurt forced himself to focus. He did not want to let Finn down.

Finn lifted him into the air with ease. Kurt could feel Finn's strong hands on his waist. He concentrated on keeping his balance as he stretched his arms out. He felt like he was flying, and it was a wondrous sensation. He was almost giddy, and he had to stop himself from actually giggling out loud.

Too late, Kurt remembered what would happen next. He tried to prepare himself as Finn lowered him to the ground. His hands were on the taller boy's chest. They were so close to each other that their bodies were almost touching.

Of course, in his fantasies, being this close to Finn was heavenly, but in reality the sudden intimacy was overwhelming. His heart was pounding loudly, and he could feel Finn's rapid heartbeat beneath his hands. He took a deep breath to steady himself. After all, he did not want to faint from a lack of oxygen. But that proved to be a mistake. The purely male scent of Finn clouded his mind, and he felt intoxicated by his nearness.

He couldn't speak…couldn't move, as he stared into Finn's beautiful, brown eyes. The other boy seemed to be in shock as well. He hadn't moved, and they had missed the last few steps of the dance. The music had since stopped, and the silence seemed to hang in the air, interrupted only by the boys' ragged breathing.

Kurt had an overwhelming desire to kiss Finn and before he could talk himself out of it, he acted on his impulse. He had to stand on tiptoe to reach the taller boy and Finn, realizing his intentions, put up his hand to stop him. Kurt felt the tingle on his lips as he kissed Finn's fingers.

Finn immediately withdrew his hand, but Kurt wasn't sure if he felt the same shock at their contact or if he was just repulsed by Kurt's actions.

"No… Kurt," Finn said. "I'm…I'm… sorry if I gave you the wrong idea, but I'm not…" He hesitated as if he didn't want to say the word out loud.

"No…I know, _I'm_ sorry." Kurt felt mortified. What must Finn think of him, now? He could feel his checks getting red and his eyes welling up with unshed tears. He would not let Finn see him cry.

"It's just…" He raised his chin, but he still couldn't look the other boy in the eyes. "I've never kissed _anyone_," he said softly. "And to be honest…the only person I want to kiss…is you."

Finn was silent, and Kurt was sure he could hear his pounding heart. He waited anxiously for the rebuke that was sure to come.

"Okay."

_Wait, what?_

Kurt looked at him in surprise, and the shock must have shown on his face.

"Okay. Sure, why not?" Finn said again, with a slight shrug of his shoulders. "You are always helping me out. As long as you realize it doesn't change anything. I have a girlfriend. But," he added with a shy smile, "I think it would be kind of cool to be your first kiss."

Kurt didn't know what to say. He was stunned. Here was his chance… he had dreamed about this moment forever, and yet when the time came, he couldn't move.

"Is something wrong?" Finn looked puzzled.

"I…can't…" How could he kiss him when he could hardly breathe? It was different when he wasn't going to think about it. But now he was immobilized by fear. What if he did it wrong? After all, his only practice had been with the uncritical crook of his elbow.

"It's okay," Finn replied with a lopsided grin that always made Kurt melt into a puddle of fashionable goo. "I got this."

Finn slowly reached up and touched his chin, tipping it up. As he moved in closer, Kurt could feel his warm breath on his face. He felt a mixture of emotions: fear, excitement, and trepidation. Was Finn actually going to kiss him?

And then all thought left him as their lips touched. The kiss was soft and gentle, and way too brief. As soon as Kurt realized he needed to respond, Finn was moving away…

…but not far. Kurt's eyes were closed, but he could still feel Finn close to him. His unsteady breath was still caressing his face.

Curious, Kurt opened his eyes just in time to see Finn leaning in to kiss him again. His mouth opened slightly in surprise and when they kissed this time, the contact was more intimate.

Finn caught his bottom lip in his mouth as they kissed, and Kurt realized he could never have imagined the wonderful feelings now coursing through him. Their lips then separated briefly but only to find a new position. Unlike the other kiss, this one was firm, insistent, and full of barely restrained need. Kurt was unprepared for the sudden barrage of emotions.

Finn pulled away unexpectedly, as if finally realizing what he was doing. He looked shocked at what had just occurred.

"Finn?"

"Kurt…I can't…" He paused as if unsure of what he couldn't do. "Don't tell anyone about this, okay?"

And with that he left the room.

Kurt took a deep breath. He still had tears on his face but he didn't wipe them away. They were like a badge, a testament to what he had just gone through. How did he feel? Sad? Angry? Mortified? Elated?

Maybe none of those, and maybe all of them. He just wasn't sure. He could still feel the pressure of Finn's lips on his own.

He smiled then as he wiped his face.

The first kiss was a favor.

The second kiss was not.

His smile widened and at that moment he felt ecstatic.

No matter what else happened, in that moment, Finn had wanted to kiss him.


	2. Chapter 2

First Kiss

Chapter Two

Kurt held on to his optimism as long as he could. Unfortunately, like a dream that faded into the light of day, harsh reality soon imposed itself. That was when he realized what many already knew.

_Love was a bitch!_

Finn had ignored him from that day forward, which was difficult considering they had Glee Club and football practice together.

He did notice with some satisfaction that Finn danced flawlessly with Rachel. It was so good that everyone cheered. Finn had not only mastered the dance but his fear, it seemed. Perhaps that fear was now channeled elsewhere, Kurt reflected wryly.

Through this all, there were brief moments when he caught Finn staring at him. Like the other day at Glee practice…

They had all been singing and dancing and for a while, Kurt had actually felt free from the pain. Singing was like a balm; it was comfortable, something familiar, something he loved. He could forget about love, about Finn, about being alone.

So at one point, he was singing and dancing with Mr. Schue. The teacher was trying to show Kurt the steps he had choreographed for him. Kurt had to admit that while Mr. Schue was obviously not his type, and married, and well, _old_,when he danced he was actually quite sexy. Really, that should not be allowed… not with all the teenage hormones raging everywhere, but _whatever_.

He was singing and dancing with Mr. Schue and the rest of the Glee Club looked on.

As Kurt followed his instructor's moves, he thought he looked pretty good, too. They were really having a lot of fun. When the song was over, they both cracked up.

Kurt wiped the tears of laughter from his face. That is when he noticed Finn watching him intently. As soon as he noticed Kurt looking at him though, the other boy looked away.

Kurt had caught him watching him on two other occasions, both during football practice. He was thankful that, although not fashionable, the football costume fit him snugly. When he did his chorus line kicks, it especially showed off his butt.

He couldn't be sure, during these times, of Finn's expression. Was he angry, upset, or turned on?

Whatever it was, it was intense and it disappeared quickly when Finn realized he was caught.

Most of all, Kurt was mad at himself. He had known Finn was straight _and_ had a girlfriend _and_ had a little crush on Rachel. Even if by some miracle he was gay, why would he be interested in Kurt?

So not only did Kurt feel like he had ruined a friendship, but he had gotten his hopes up that Finn could offer him more. He felt like an idiot, and he chastised himself for his now maudlin mood.

_But what about the kiss? Didn't it mean anything?_

He pushed those thoughts away. He now wished for his, somewhat, uncomplicated life back. Life before the pain of wanting someone, loving someone, and needing someone. While he'd had those feelings before, they were subdued, based on the _fantasy_ of loving Finn. Now that he had the reality…of the kiss…of Finn's own reaction, the feelings were harder to ignore, to manage.

Finn had felt something. He was sure of it.

Kurt shut his locker for the final time that day. As he turned he saw Finn, his face stoic, walking by him without even acknowledging his existence. At that moment, Kurt once again changed his mind.

No matter how much it hurt to love Finn, it was worth it. The kiss was worth it. Whenever he was really down, he just had to pull that memory up. The tenderness, the _sweetness_ of that moment warmed his heart and gave him hope.

It was worth it. No matter what.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! This story started as a one shot but it just keeps growing. Hope you enjoy it.

First Kiss

Chapter Three

Something had changed. He wasn't sure what it was, but things were definitely different.

Finn no longer ignored him. Instead, he gave Kurt nervous glances when he was around him. He seemed jumpy, and it wasn't like Finn. What was going on?

The looks he gave him seemed almost guilty. Was he going to tell him that he no longer wanted them to be friends?

Kurt's imagination was running wild thinking of all the reasons why Finn would be so tense and nervous. He concluded that none of it could be good. His usually controlled paranoia was beginning to surface.

_Although really, is it paranoia if someone actually is out to get you?_

He was thinking of his full length see through DG raincoat that he bought just for all the slushie wars, and then there was the dumpster with his name on it.

Kurt found himself nervous as well when he was around Finn. He was waiting for the inevitable to happen.

Surprisingly, Mr. Schuester also noticed. This was uncharacteristic of him considering he was still unaware of Kurt's previous torture at the hands of the football team.

_Okay, no reason to dwell on that._

"Kurt? Are you okay?" the Spanish teacher asked after Glee practice. Finn, obviously eavesdropping from a few feet away, looked at him questioningly.

Kurt lifted up his chin. "Of course, Mr. Schue."

"Okay," he said, accepting his answer at face value. "See you all tomorrow."

"Kurt?" Finn stopped him and then waited for everyone else to leave before continuing. "Can I talk to you?"

Now that the time had come, Kurt realized he was not ready for it. He was sure Finn was going to tell him what he feared most.

"I really have to go. I want to polish my tiara collection before my dad gets home."

"Um, okay. Well, I could give you a ride. Unless your dad gave your car back already."

"Sadly, no," Kurt said, letting out a sigh. "He has not returned my baby."

"So?"

Kurt hesitated. He was torn between wanting to be with Finn and his fear at what he was going to tell him.

"Fine," he said, deciding he might as well get it over with.

They barely talked during the drive to Kurt's house. Finn looked over at him often, but Kurt stared straight ahead. He was not encouraging any conversation.

He wanted to hold on to his little fantasy as long as he could. He knew once Finn said the words he feared the most, it would be all over. No reason to hurry that along.

_But what if that wasn't what he was going to say? What if…_

_No!_

He was not going there.

"Kurt?"

He looked over at him then. His internal struggle must have shown on his face, judging by the concern in Finn's eyes.

At least he hadn't spoken out loud.

Wait. He didn't right?

"Oh, this is my stop," he said quickly, motioning to his house. "Thanks for the ride…"

"Can we talk now?"

_Just get it over with!_

It wasn't like it was going to get any easier.

"Sure, but let's go inside."

He certainly didn't need an audience for his humiliation.

They went down to Kurt's room in the basement. He motioned for Finn to sit down on the modern white couch that sat against the wall. Kurt sat down at the other end.

"Can I get you something? Tea? Soda?" Kurt felt that there was never a reason to be a bad host.

"No… thanks." Finn fiddled with his hands nervously.

Kurt stared straight ahead, not facing the other boy. He was trying to keep his distance, physically and emotionally.

"Here's the thing…" Finn started. "I'm not gay. I have a girl friend. You know this."

"Of course," Kurt responded. He was able to keep his voice steady, although his stomach was in knots. He raised his chin up further to prepare himself for the blow to come.

"And we talked about … the kiss_…_ that it would not change anything." He stumbled somewhat over the words. Kurt had no doubt that Finn had rehearsed this speech but he obviously still had problems talking about their kiss.

Kurt just nodded in agreement. What was there to say, after all?

"But the thing is… it did change things. And I realize now that it was… stupid."

Kurt remained calm, but inside he was devastated by Finn's words. He had thought the kiss was amazing, wondrous, _life changing…_ and yet Finn thought it was stupid.

He could feel the tears starting, but he held them back. He didn't dare look at Finn, afraid he would not be able to hold them in. The overwhelming pain was there waiting in the background, but he would not give in to it. Not yet. Later, he would soothe the hurt in a lavender bubble bath where he could succumb to the tears, but now he had to be strong. He just wanted it to be over.

Finn must have realized the effect his words were having on the other boy because he was suddenly backtracking.

"Okay… well, maybe not stupid… just _wrong_."

Kurt looked directly at him then, his mouth open.

_Oh, no. He did not just go there!_

He glared at Finn with a mixture of hurt and anger. The tears now flowed freely down his face, but he no longer cared.

"I'm sorry," Finn said, as he reached up to wipe away Kurt's tears.

"Don't. Touch me," Kurt said fiercely.

Finn dropped his hand to his side.

"Kurt," He was giving him that look… like he hadn't meant to hurt him.

_Whatever!_

Kurt wiped away his tears as he stood up. He crossed his arms to ward off any further injury.

"So, are we done here?"

"Could you give me another chance to say what I am trying to say? Please, Kurt?" _Again, with the puppy dog eyes!_

Kurt reluctantly sat back down and crossed his legs.

"I'm listening."

"When I said the kiss was stupid, what I meant was that I was stupid for kissing you... "

Kurt glared at him. So far he wasn't doing any better.

"…and for thinking it wouldn't mean anything to you. I was just goofing around, thinking it might be fun, I wasn't thinking about your feelings. That I might hurt you. I was wrong."

"It was my idea, not yours," Kurt said, his look a little more forgiving.

"But I could have said no. Should have said no. But now… " Finn hesitated.

"Go on."

"Well… and again, I am not gay and I have a girlfriend… "

"So you've said… over and over." The last part Kurt said under his breath.

"The thing is, all week I've had this problem…" Finn continued as if he had not been interrupted, "I can't stop thinking about you."

Kurt's heart almost stopped at his words.

"Really?"

But Finn didn't seem to hear him. "I'm just so confused!" He stood up and raked his hand through his hair. "I mean I love girls… _love them!_ Quinn wears those little skirts and it drives me crazy. And Rachel... her body is smokin' hot! And her boobs…"

"Excuse me," Kurt interrupted, holding up his hand, "but could we get back to how this relates to me?"

Finn returned his attention to him then. "All week all I could think about was the kiss and suddenly I was just more _aware _of you. I mean like all the time! When I wasn't around you, I would wonder what you were doing. When I was around you, I watched you… dancing, singing, talking, walking… I just can't explain it."

Finn stopped to take a breath. Kurt didn't dare say anything at that point. He wasn't sure what to say.

"I even wondered what it would be like to kiss you again," Finn admitted softly.

Kurt's heart started beating faster. Finn had been thinking about kissing him again?

"But, I am not gay."

"Are you sure?" Kurt just had to ask.

"Yeah, dude. When I think of guys doing it, it just makes my stomach hurt. Probably the same way you feel at the thought of having sex with a girl."

Kurt shuddered. "Yuck."

"Exactly!"

Kurt nodded. He wasn't sure what to think anymore.

"So I don't know exactly what this is between us. I do know that you have been there for me… stood up for me… believed in me… more than anyone I know, male or female." Finn took a deep breath and sat back down. "I guess what I am saying is that I care about you, and I don't want to lose that. But I don't want to lead you on either."

"I understand."

"You do?" Finn sounded surprised by this.

"Of course." Kurt gave him a small smile. "I didn't really think you'd suddenly realize you liked guys. I just wanted my first kiss to be special… and it was. But most of all I want us to be friends… "

"We are," Finn assured him.

"And maybe someday, you will see the light," Kurt added with a grin.

"I wouldn't count on it."

"Hey, a girl can dream."

Finn laughed then, and all the tension of the last few hours seemed to melt away.

_God, how he loved his laugh… and that amazing smile. _

"I have to admit something though Kurt," Finn added. "You have the softest lips I have _ever_ kissed."

"It's lip conditioner," he said with a smile. "It's from Europe."

"Oh, I see," Finn said with a laugh.

Kurt stood up.

"Can I have a hug?"

Finn stood up as well.

"Sure."

Kurt put his arms around the taller boy. He tried to convey in that one embrace how much he really cared for him. He wasn't sure he would ever get another chance. Finn hugged him back. It was a wonderful moment and Kurt tried to sear it into his memory… for later when he was in his bubble bath.

"Kurt?"

Finn and Kurt pulled apart quickly staring guiltily at the man who had interrupted them. Kurt was the first to speak.

"Dad."


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! I have several chapters as this story just keeps growing. Hope you enjoy it.

First Kiss

Chapter Four

"What's going on here?"

Kurt really didn't know what to say to his dad. He really looked pissed as he stood there looking at him and then Finn.

Things had been going much better with his dad. He was giving Kurt more room to be himself. He had accepted Kurt's passion for form fitting sweaters that reached above the knee and unitards that wicked sweat from the body. Of course, there were things that his dad still didn't agree with such as his tiara collection. Kurt had a feeling this was going to be another one of those things.

"Well… um… we were just…" Kurt looked over at Finn for help.

"Studying."

Kurt stared at the other boy. Although Finn was adorable, he was not very good at quick comebacks. They were obviously _not_ studying. Kurt's book bag was across the room, unopened. Kurt did the only thing he could at that point.

"Yeah, we were studying."

His dad looked skeptical.

Then Finn stepped forward. "Mr. Hummel, it's really nice to meet you. I'm Finn…"

"I know who you are," Burt Hummel said. "You're that quarterback."

Finn stepped back at the less than friendly greeting. Although, really. What did he expect?

His dad looked over at him. "Are you okay?"

He was the third person to ask him that today.

"Fine," Kurt responded once again with a weak smile.

His dad just looked at them both, and no one said anything for awhile. Kurt was very uncomfortable. He was an emotional mess having just gone through a rollercoaster of emotions with Finn, and now he had to face his dad. Really, that is something you needed to prepare for, and he had not had that chance.

"Well, I had better get going before my mom gets worried," Finn said, breaking the silence. He then turned toward him. "Bye, Kurt…" His look was full of meaning, and Kurt knew he was trying to say a lot without actually saying it… about how sorry he was, and how he hoped Kurt really was okay. At least that was Kurt's interpretation of the look.

"Bye, see you tomorrow Finn," he replied softly.

The whole situation was very awkward and, for once, Kurt was glad the other boy was leaving. That was until he was left alone with his dad. The room was quiet once again as father and son stared at each other.

What would his dad do now? Would he yell and scream at him?

Not likely.

His dad usually just gave him a disappointed look. In Kurt's mind that was even worse than yelling and screaming.

"_Are_ you okay?"

The look his dad gave him wasn't the one he was expecting. It was full of concern, and that was when Kurt remembered that his eyes were probably still puffy and his face was still streaked with dried tears.

"Yeah, Dad. I'm okay."

"I know it's hard when you care about somebody." He paused, and Kurt wondered if he was trying to gauge his reaction. Kurt tried hard not to give anything away.

"It just makes me so mad. You don't have to put up with that, Kurt."

"Dad, what are you talking about?"

"That Finn kid. I saw him at your game. He was kissing that cheerleader. I just can't stand to see him hurting you."

That was when Kurt realized his dad wasn't mad at him at all. He was mad at Finn. Amazing. Kurt shook his head in disbelief. He was so sure his dad would be upset at him.

"I'm not very good at this. Your mom was much better at stuff like this," his dad continued. "I just want you to realize that you deserve better. You deserve a…" he seemed to be having trouble saying the word guy. "… well, someone… who will love you for who you are. You are a great person, and if he doesn't see that then that's his problem."

Kurt really couldn't believe they were having this conversation.

"Thanks, Dad," he said with a smile. And before his dad could protest, Kurt hugged him tight.

That night as Kurt soaked in his lavender scented bath, he was not thinking of Finn, but of his mom. She was always telling him how great he was. Although, he had to give his dad credit… it wasn't easy to raise a son by himself, especially one who was so fashion conscious… his mom just seemed to get him.

He really missed her.

As the tears flowed undisturbed down his face, he smiled. His dad was right. He wasn't going to waste any of his tears on Finn. If he didn't realize what they could have together then he _didn't_ deserve him.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews!

First Kiss

Chapter Five

"God, Finn! What is wrong with you?" Quinn snapped at the quarterback as she pushed him away.

Finn's heart was racing as he tried to gather his composure. They had been making out when she had decided to throw her fit, but that wasn't _exactly_ why he was so disoriented. As he tried to gain control over his mind and body, he wondered why girls were so hard to understand. He also noticed that Quinn was able to shed her _faith_ when it suited her.

"What did I do, now?" he asked. You would have thought he had done something as terrible as commenting on her recent weight gain. He had only made that mistake once and instantly regretted it.

"All you ever want to do is make out. Have some sensitivity."

Finn gave her a frustrated look. He really did try to be understanding. After all, he knew she was having a hard time with the pregnancy. The problem was that she wouldn't let him help or even talk to him about it. She would hold him at arm's length, until she decided she wanted more from him. Just like today.

"Am I supposed to guess what you want, Quinn?" he asked. "One minute you are all over me, and the next minute you don't want me to even touch you. How's a guys supposed to know?"

"It's not my fault!" she answered. "It's all the hormones in my body. You think this is easy, Finn? Why don't you try it?"

She looked about to cry, and Finn wondered why everyone around him seemed to be crying all the time.

He looked at her helplessly. "I just don't know what I did to make you so mad. You were the one who started kissing me."

"You were kissing me too hard," she said with a pout. "My lips hurt now."

Although Finn was glad she was no longer about to cry, he wasn't sure he wanted to talk about the kiss.

It had started out like any other time they had kissed…very enjoyable. Then his traitorous mind decided to compare her kissing ability to Kurt's. Which would have been fine, except that as soon as he thought of Kurt…he _was_ kissing Kurt. At least in his mind. That's when it got intense, and he ended up hurting his pregnant girlfriend. What kind of guy was he, anyway?

"I'm just tired of it all, Finn. You only think of yourself!"

"What? Are you kidding me?" He tried to stay calm but he couldn't take it anymore. "You are always on my case. 'Don't touch my breast, Finn.' 'Don't name the baby Drizzle, Finn.' 'Don't kiss me so hard, Finn.' Why do you have to be like that? Some people are nice to me. Some people appreciate me. Why can't you be more like that? Why can't you be more like…?"

He hesitated, realizing he had almost said something that he wouldn't be able to explain or take back.

"Who? Rachel?" she said angrily.

Finn couldn't speak. He just watched as Quinn stormed out of the room.

"Kurt," he whispered after she was gone. "Why can't you be more like Kurt?"

*****

Finn didn't know what to think.

He wasn't sure what he expected from Kurt, but it definitely wasn't the reaction he was getting from the other boy. At first, he thought Kurt might be embarrassed about what had happened between them. He also worried that Kurt might be angry at him. After all, Finn realized he was giving him mixed signals. Not that he could help it. He wasn't sure how he felt himself so how could he explain it to Kurt?

It had been over a week since the kiss and several days since the incident at Kurt's house. Of course he had seen Kurt at Glee practice as well as football practice but every time he saw him, Kurt treated him no different. He acted the same way he had always acted around him. He was sometimes haughty and sometimes friendly. Mostly he treated Finn as if he was just another one of his fellow Gleeks. He did treat him better than the other football players but he had always treated him somewhat better than them.

He should be happy. Wasn't this what he wanted? For things to go back to normal? And now they had.

Finn was determined to put it all behind him. If Kurt could move on so easily than so could he.

But then, why couldn't he forget about the kiss?

Finn moved through the day like a robot. Nothing seemed right. He knew he had to snap out of it or people would begin to notice. But he wasn't sure he even cared anymore.

As he walked into the choir room for Glee practice, he noticed everyone was in their little groups. Puck was with the other football players. The Cheerios sat with Quinn, and they were all ignoring him. Artie, Mercedes, and Tina sat with Kurt and although they looked friendly enough, he did not feel comfortable sitting next to them. He could sit with Rachel, but she was on the other side of the room. Finn decided just to sit by himself. He really did not feel like having any company anyway.

Mr. Schue came in then, as if on cue.

"Hey everyone," he said as he handed out sheet music. "I thought we could try some Beyoncé today."

Finn looked at the music. _Brown Eyes._ He wasn't sure he knew the song but he could tell others recognized it. Kurt especially looked excited about it.

"Mercedes, do you want to sing lead on this?"

Everyone expected the diva to jump at the chance but Mercedes surprised them all. "I think my man Kurt should sing this one. He hasn't sung a lead yet."

Kurt looked excited and grateful all at the same time, and Finn had to admit he was adorable in his enthusiasm. Of course he wouldn't admit that to anyone but himself.

Mr. Schue did not look so sure. "Well, it is a female part but I guess you could change it up a bit. Okay, Kurt, if you want to do it, go for it."

Kurt took his place on the floor and with a smile, he cued the music.

_Remember the first day when I saw your face  
remember the first day when you smiled at me  
you stepped to me and you said to me  
I was the woman you dreamed about_…

It seemed strange to hear Kurt singing the song, but his voice was clear and beautiful. Finn found he couldn't take his eyes off of him and was actually glad to have an excuse to stare.

_I know that he loves me cause he told me so  
I know that he loves me cause his feelings show  
when he stares at me you know that he cares for me  
you see how he is so deep in love_

Although Kurt was singing in Finn general direction, he felt like Kurt was singing directly to him. He wondered if anyone else noticed or if he was just imagining it. At first he felt embarrassed…

_I know that he loves me cause it's obvious  
I know that he loves me cause it's me he trusts  
and he's missing me if he's not kissing me  
and when he looks at me his brown eyes tells his soul_

And then when Kurt looked at him like that, he didn't care. Even if no one else saw it, even if everyone else saw it, he didn't care. Kurt was singing this song to him…

_Remember the first day, the first day we kissed  
remember the first day we had an argument  
we apologized and then we compromised _

It was if they were the only ones in the room, and Kurt was reminding him of their kiss and everything that happened after. As if the song had been written about them. His voice was so beautiful…

_I know that he loves me cause he told me so  
I know that he loves me cause his feelings show  
when he stares at me, you know that he cares for me  
you see how he is so deep in love  
I know that he loves me cause it's obvious  
I know that he loves me cause it's me he trusts_  
_and he's missing me if he's not kissing me  
and when he looks at me his brown eyes tells his soul_

_He looks at me and his brown eyes tell his soul_

As the last notes resonated, it was quiet in the choir room as if no one wanted to break the spell Kurt had cast. Then everyone started clapping at once and cheering for the soprano.

Finn shook his head trying to clear his mind. No one seemed to notice that Kurt had been singing to him and maybe he imagined the whole thing. He wasn't quite himself lately so that was possible. It wasn't like he was actually in love with Kurt. He had made himself clear to the other boy. And yet the song haunted him. And when he thought back to it, which he ended up doing often, it was with a feeling of warmth and excitement.

"Great, Kurt. Fantastic!" Mr. Schue said. "One thing though. If we end up doing this for Sectionals you need to sing 'she' instead of 'he'."

"It says 'he'," Kurt said holding up the music.

"I know, Kurt, but it is typically a female part and you are a guy."

"So?"

Finn recognized that stubborn glint in Kurt's eyes. He wasn't sure Mr. Schue was going to win this one.

"It will be confusing to the judges, Kurt. So either do it like I asked or I will have someone else do it."

Kurt just looked at him like he was crazy but the Glee teacher was not backing down.

"Oh, my god," Kurt said before slamming down his music and storming out the door.

In front of Finn, Mercedes leaned down and whispered to Artie, "At least it wasn't Rachel, this time."

But she spoke too soon.

"Mr. Schue, I am appalled at what you just did. It was inexcusable, deplorable… egregious. Kurt is just trying to express himself. "

Finn couldn't believe she was saying all those things to Mr. Schue; although he really didn't understand what they meant.

Mr. Schue must have understood, though, because he had an answer for her.

"Rachel, Kurt knows who he is. He doesn't need a song to express himself. It is fine for in here but the judges won't understand it. They might think it's weird or something. I'm sorry but we are not doing it like that at Sectionals."

"Well, I don't agree with your decision!" And with that she too stormed out of the room.

"There she goes," Artie said with a knowing glance.

Glee practice continued (minus two), but Finn barely noticed.

He was more confused than ever.

A/N: You can listen to this song on YouTube. It wasn't hard to imagine Kurt singing it to Finn. Hope you all enjoyed this chapter. There is more to come…


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews!

First Kiss

Chapter Six

Finn was really enjoying football practice the next day. Where else could you hit, push, and yell… and not get in trouble. In fact the harder you hit, the better you played. It was a great way to get out his frustration. Of course, as the quarterback, he really didn't have a reason to tackle anyone, but Coach Tanaka didn't really seem to care. Although Finn was exhausted after practice, he found that he was also more relaxed.

He was still confused though. He had been thinking a lot lately, and he was tired of it. Tired of trying to figure out his feelings for Quinn, the baby, and especially Kurt. One thing was clear to him, though. He needed to talk to Kurt again.

Kurt was still acting as if nothing had happened between them. Finn didn't count yesterday, since he still wasn't sure Kurt had been singing to him. He could have just imagined it.

As everyone was leaving practice, he called to the kicker.

"Hey, Kurt."

The other boy looked over at him.

"Hey, Finn."

"I thought maybe I could give you a ride home."

"I was going to ride with Mercedes."

"Oh, okay." Finn hated the disappointment, he couldn't disguise, in his voice. As he started to turn away, Kurt stopped him.

"So, I'll just need to let her know not to wait for me. I'll meet you at your car."

"Great," Finn said with a smile.

Soon they were on their way. It was already getting dark, and he could barely see Kurt's face in the shadows of the car. This time it was easier to make small talk, since Kurt did all of the talking. That was fine with Finn. He was still working up his courage to say what he wanted to say.

Kurt talked nonstop about the songs they were doing in Glee Club, and the ones he really wanted them to do. Although, he explained, he had made the suggestions to Mr. Schue, he had, so far, ignored them. Finn was glad he only had to nod here and there to show he was listening.

"Here we are. Thanks for the ride, Finn."

"Wait…um, can we talk?" He tried hard to keep any hint of desperation out of his voice. He wasn't sure he accomplished it, though.

"Sure but let's do it out here. I don't want to freak my dad out."

"He doesn't like me." Finn stated, sure of that fact.

"He's just overprotective. It's not you." Kurt laughed.

Finn smiled but then became serious. "The truth is…I'm having a hard time, Kurt. I'm so confused. I mean, I can't even kiss my girlfriend without thinking about you."

"Really?" Kurt said with a grin.

"Yeah," he replied. "It just doesn't make any sense to me, Kurt, because I'm not gay. I don't think about guys like that."

"You know, Finn, there are people out there who think that sexuality is more like a continuum." Finn gave him another confused look. "Like a football field," Kurt explained. "At one end are people who are heterosexual, and on the other end are people who are homosexual. They say that most people are somewhere in between, not strictly on one end or the other, but with some tendencies either way."

"I'm not sure I get what it has to do with football, Kurt. All I know is that l like girls… and you. So what does that make me?"

Kurt thought for a minute. "Then I guess that makes you…_kurtsexual_," he said with a smile.

Finn couldn't help but smile back. He really was adorable.

"Seriously, Kurt. I like kissing you but that's as far as it can go. I'm just not like that."

"What you need to remember, Finn, is that we are all just trying to figure out who we are. We are trying to establish our identity and that includes sexuality. That's why kids our age do so much experimenting. They are rebelling against their parents and trying to come up with their own answers. Doesn't it make sense then to have all the information you can when you are making this decision?"

"I'm not sure…you're kind of confusing me."

"Okay, let's say you like Skittles."

"I _do_ like Skittles." Finn brightened up. This was something he could understand.

"And you love the red ones, the cherry ones," Kurt continued.

"Okay," Finn said, not sure what this had to do with anything.

"But you don't think you like the green Skittles, the lime ones, even though you've never tried them."

"Okay." He was following so far.

"Doesn't it make sense to try both flavors before you really decide which one you want?"

"Can't I just have them both?"

"Well, you can," Kurt continued. "But you probably need to choose one or the other. It's less complicated that way."

Finn thought about what he was saying. And then suddenly it made sense.

"Wait. So… you're the green Skittle?"

"Yes, I am," Kurt agreed proudly.

It was quiet in the car as Finn thought about what Kurt had said. The light from the streetlamp highlighted Kurt's face in the otherwise dark car. He looked nervous, as if he was afraid of what Finn would say next.

"You know…" Finn said. "All this talk about Skittles is making me hungry."

Kurt laughed, then, and Finn smiled in response. He loved Kurt's laugh. It was more like a giggle, really, and it was addictive. He also liked that he could say anything to Kurt, and he would never make him feel stupid.

Which might explain why he felt comfortable enough to say what he said next.

"It's also really, _really _turning me on."

Kurt stopped laughing and just stared at him with his mouth slightly open.

"I think it's the lime Skittles," Finn continued, "and the thought of tasting you."

The only sound in the car was Kurt's sharp intake of breath, and Finn was worried that he had said the wrong thing.

"I think I can help you with that," Kurt said finally. He moved closer, and Finn knew he was going to kiss him.

He closed his eyes as Kurt placed his hands on either side of his face. Finn was excited and nervous, but then surprised as Kurt kissed him on the cheek. He then slowly kissed his jaw, his chin, and the corner of his mouth. He avoided where Finn wanted him to kiss him the most. Finn's heart was racing, and he could hardly breathe. The anticipation was killing him, until Kurt finally kissed him on the lips.

The kiss was intense and Finn couldn't remember ever wanting to kiss someone so much.

_God, Kurt was a good kisser! _

Especially considering this was only his second kiss, ever.

Finn placed his hand on the back of Kurt's head and pulled him closer. The kiss was incredible, wonderful, and sweet. Then Kurt shyly put his tongue into Finn's mouth… and it was all over.

_Thinkofthemail! _

He tried to visualize his mom's car as he hit the poor mailman, but it was too late to control his traitorous body. He pulled away from Kurt and opened his eyes. He expected to see the usual confusion, irritation, and frustration on Kurt's face.

Instead all he saw was shock.

"I'm sorry, Kurt," he said embarrassed at his lack of self control. He was also squirming in his seat, totally humiliated and uncomfortable.

"Wow," Kurt said breathlessly.

Finn was confused as he looked at the other boy. He expected Kurt to be embarrassed at the very least, but he just smiled instead.

"Did I do that?"

A rumbling nearby caught both of their attention. The garage door was opening as a car drove into the driveway.

"My dad's home," Kurt said in a panic. "I need to go before he realizes I'm not in there."

"Okay," Finn said softly.

Kurt started to leave and then turned back.

"Finn, about tomorrow. I know how this will go. Things will look differently in the harsh reality of day. You're not going to feel the same as you do right now… "

"Kurt, I wouldn't…" Finn started, but Kurt put his fingers over his lips to stop what he was going to say.

Finn realized at that point that if he had not already lost control, just the feeling of Kurt's fingers pressed against his lips would have put him over the edge.

"Shh…Finn," Kurt said. "Don't make promises you won't be able to keep." And then he leaned in and kissed him gently. He pulled back slightly, resting his forehead against Finn's. They stayed that way for a few minutes sharing each other's breath and everything that was _not_ said. Finn thought he could stay that way forever; he didn't want the moment to end.

"I have to go," Kurt whispered.

"I know."

And just as quickly, Kurt had pulled away and got out of the car, leaving Finn alone once again.

A/N: Thanks to **IchigoPudding** for the use of her word 'kurtsexual'. You rock! Again thanks to everyone for all the great reviews and for reading my story. There is more, much more, to come.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: This week on Glee, Kurt is going to try and seduce Finn. This should be good! I think Kurt should seriously think about using the Skittles approach. I'm sure Finn will not realize yet that he is Kurtsexual. But we all know the truth. Thanks, for all the reviews. I appreciate all of them! As a reward, two chapters today.

First Kiss

Chapter Seven

Kurt was full of excitement and trepidation at the thought of going to school the next day and seeing Finn. Although things had definitely changed between them, he wasn't sure how Finn would react. For all his bravado the night before, he didn't think he could take it if Finn ignored him. He cycled between worrying about what he would say when he first saw Finn again, to how was he going to keep from blushing, to reliving the moment when they kissed. It had felt amazing, and he could still feel the pressure of those wonderful lips.

"Hello-o-o-o…Kurt." Mercedes snapped her fingers at him. "Wake up. What are you all starry-eyed about?"

Kurt smiled at her. "I saw the cutest Gucci shoes at Neiman Marcus and I just have to have them. Want to go to the mall later?"

This seemed to satisfy her. "You know it. I'll meet you after school. Good thing there's no Glee practice today."

"Or football practice. We have a rare afternoon free."

_And an afternoon of not having to worry about seeing Finn._

They walked arm in arm to class, and Kurt realized he would have to be on his guard with Mercedes. She was quick, and if she thought something was going on, she would not give up until she found out what it was.

Kurt made it through the first few hours without running into Finn. He wasn't sure if he was disappointed or relieved… or maybe a little of both.

It was right before lunch when Artie caught up with him.

"Hey, Kurt. Mr. Shue called an emergency Glee practice for right after school. "

"You've got to be joking." Kurt was not happy that his shopping would be postponed… and then there was having to see Finn, of course.

"Nope. We're supposed to let everyone know. I'm going to tell Brit and Santana. If you could tell Quinn and Finn, then that will be everyone."

Kurt wanted to protest and say that he would tell the Cheerios, but Artie had already left.

"Fantastic," he said aloud, to no one in particular.

Once he started looking for McKinley High's elite couple, it wasn't hard to find them.

In fact they were fairly loud.

Kurt watched as Quinn slammed her locker shut and turned to Finn.

"I don't know what's going on with you, Finn. You're not even here half the time. You're in your own little would. What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing," he murmured, obviously annoyed with her but holding his tongue.

Kurt hesitated. Although he wanted to get this done, he didn't want to interrupt them. So he just lingered.

"What do you want, Nancy-boy?" Quinn turned all her anger toward Kurt, and it took him by surprise.

"Well?"

"Leave him alone, Quinn."

She glared at Finn and that gave Kurt time to regain his composure. Quinn's anger, and being so close to Finn again, threw him for a second, but he recovered quickly. He held up his hand to silence them both.

"Mr. Shue is having an emergency Glee practice right after school," he said haughtily.

Then he turned on his heels and walked away. He could feel Finn's eyes watching him go, or so he liked to think.

Kurt was proud of himself. He hadn't stammered or blushed. Of course, he hadn't looked directly at Finn, either.

The rest of the day flew by quickly. Now that the 'moment' of seeing Finn again was over, he found he could relax. He knew what he wanted. He also knew that Finn was attracted to him. The next move was Finn's. He felt he could accept whatever the other boy decided to do. At least that was what he kept telling himself.

After school, they all traipsed into the choir room like the doomed. No one wanted to be there. It was a Friday night. One of those rare Friday nights when there wasn't even a football game. And now here they were in Glee practice.

Although Kurt was also irritated at being there, his heart pounded at the thought of seeing Finn again.

He was already sitting next to Mercedes when Finn and Quinn arrived. He noticed Finn did not look his way, but he wasn't surprised at all. It actually gave Kurt a chance to look at him, unnoticed. Finn definitely looked tired. He wondered if _he_ was the reason Finn was not sleeping well.

_One could hope. _

Mr. Shue interrupted his thoughts.

"Okay, guys. I called this extra practice to work on the choreography. We have been off lately, so we need to step it up." Everyone groaned, but he ignored their protests. "Everyone line up."

They all grumbled as they took their places.

Kurt hoped they could get it on the first try. Maybe Mr. Shue would let them out early. Now that he had decided to go the mall, he found he was looking forward to it. There was nothing like shopping to brighten up a dreary day.

The number started out well, but at some point everything went wrong. If he had to point to a specific moment… it would have to be when they all came together in a circle. Kurt was next to Finn, and he actually had to touch his hand. He knew it was going to happen, since they had rehearsed it often enough. He had prepared himself as best he could, but once their skin touched, he could feel the heat between them. It was brief, but it was enough.

Kurt was able to keep it together, but Finn had some difficulty.

As they lined up in rows, Kurt was in the front, and Finn was in the back. In the number they were supposed to step back two steps. As Kurt stepped back, Finn must have stepped forward instead, because he almost ran into him. All Kurt knew was that as he tried to back up, Finn grabbed his waist to keep from running into him.

"Oh, sorry," Finn stammered, backing up suddenly. Then he must have moved left when he should have moved right, because he ran into Puck.

"Dude, what the hell?"

Puck pushed Finn and the other boy, obviously frustrated, pushed him back.

Everyone stopped as the two football players started to fight.

"Hey! Break it up," Mr. Shue yelled over the ensuing chaos. He pulled the boys off each other. "Everyone sit down."

When everyone had sat back in their original seats, he continued, "Glee is about teamwork. How are we supposed to be ready for Sectionals when we can't do a simple number without fighting? We need to work together." He looked pointedly at Finn and Puck.

"Can we do that, Puck?"

"Sure, whatever."

"Finn?"

"Yeah, sure, Mr. Shue," he said. "But it would help, if _everyone _would get off my back!"

He looked accusingly at the other Glee clubbers, especially Quinn and Puck. Then his eyes rested on Kurt.

"You know what I would like?" he asked, looking back at Mr. Shue.

"What, Finn?" Mr. Shue was obviously ready to give him anything, if they could just get back to working as a team.

"I would really like some Skittles, right about now."

Mr. Shue gave him a confused look.

"Finn, you know there's no eating or drinking in the choir room."

Everyone else looked at Finn as if he had grown an extra head. All of them except for Kurt.

A small burst of happiness had started growing in his chest. This message was for him alone. It was a reminder of what they had shared… a kiss… a moment… and it was their little secret.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Thanks again for all the reviews!

First Kiss

Chapter Eight

Kurt was happy to finally make it to the mall.

He and Mercedes shopped for over an hour, and he found the cutest pair of shoes to go with his zebra skinny jeans. He was very pleased with himself, at that point. Mercedes left him to go to the Hallmark store to look for a birthday card for her sister.

Kurt was content to sift through the Broadway show tunes collection at Barnes and Noble. Of course he had all of them on his IPod but there was something about having a CD, something tangible, that he liked. He also loved being able to listen to the selections on the headphones. At this time he was singing along to the Wicked CD. He had his eyes closed, so he was surprised when he felt a hand on his arm.

He knew immediately that it was Finn. He wasn't sure how he knew; maybe it was pheromones or something. He turned to look at him, verifying his suspicion, and then took the headphones off.

"Finn," he said. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here with Quinn. We're looking at maternity clothes for her."

"Oh."

Kurt noticed that for some reason, Finn had not let go of his arm.

"Kurt, can we talk?"

"Sure," he said, waiting expectantly.

"Over here," Finn said pulling him toward the book section of the store.

Kurt followed him, but he wondered why Finn didn't just talk to him there. It wasn't like there was anyone around. He felt like they were going through a maze, as they weaved their way through the bookshelves. Finally, they stopped in a corner near the French Cooking section.

"This should be okay. No one ever comes here."

"It's one of my favorite places," Kurt responded.

"Oh, okay," Finn said. "Kurt, I know there is a lot for us to talk about…me and you, Quinn and the baby, but I just don't want to talk right now. I am tired of thinking about it, and my head feels like it is going to explode from all this."

Kurt looked at him in confusion.

"I don't understand. I thought you wanted to talk."

Instead of answering, Finn pulled Kurt toward him and kissed him. It was urgent and a bit desperate. Kurt felt like he could relate to those feelings. He kissed him back, not wanting him to ever stop. Finn finally pulled away from him, reluctantly.

"Sorry," he said with that lopsided grin. "I just couldn't stand the thought of going a whole day without kissing you."

"That's understandable," Kurt said, still breathless from the kiss.

"Kurt, I know I ignored you today. I just didn't know what to do…what to say..."

"Finn…" the other boy said, stopping his string of words.

Finn looked at Kurt as if he was afraid of what he was going to say.

"Shut up and kiss me."

He smiled that heart melting smile and then returned to kissing Kurt.

It might have been a minute or an hour. Kurt didn't know or care. He was caught up in the feel of Finn's lips…so firm…so…"

"Oh, hell no!"

They split apart to find Mercedes fuming at them.

"Mercedes."

Kurt could tell she was angry… and hurt. Probably because he had kept it from her.

"What are you doing Kurt?"

"We were just…" Finn started, but Kurt decided to interrupt him before he tried to convince her they were just studying.

"It's complicated," Kurt explained.

"Oh, I'm sure."

"I better go," Finn interjected. "Quinn's probably looking for me."

"Yeah, you run along now…"

Finn walked past her and then turned around.

"Mercedes? Please don't tell anyone, okay?"

"I won't, Finn. Don't worry. But just realize I'm not doing it for you."

He nodded in understanding as he walked off.

"Start talking," she demanded after Finn was gone.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Mercedes, but I wanted to avoid _that_ look that you have on your face right now."

"I just don't want to see you get hurt."

"I know. It's just… you know how I've been crushing on Finn for forever. He has feelings for me, Mercedes."

"He also has a girlfriend _and_ a baby on the way."

"I know. I realize our relationship isn't perfect."

"Kurt, I'm only going to say this once… and _yes_, I have to say it… and then I'll stay out of it, cuz it's not my business. If you have to keep it a secret, then it is not really a relationship."

Kurt nodded. She was right, of course. But what could he do?

Her look softened, probably because she didn't want to see him cry.

"So Finn was your first kiss?" Her tone had changed completely. She was no longer angry. Now she was curious and eager for information.

"Yes, he was."

"So spill it, boy," she said. "What was it like?"

"It was amazing," he said, with a smile.

"I promise not to preach anymore, but you have to tell me everything."

She slipped her arm into his. It felt good to be able to confide in someone. Even if he knew she would continue to advise him.

"I have two words for you," she continued. "_Sleep over_. We will get some chocolate, watch Dreamgirls, and you can tell me all the juicy details."

Kurt laughed. "I'd love to, but I don't think my dad will go for it. Obviously," he explained at her mystified look, "he won't allow any guys to stay over. As if I'd be comfortable with that anyway. But he is not quite ready to let me have girls sleep over yet, either. Poor thing. He is very confused about all of this."

Mercedes smiled at Kurt. "Don't worry. What he doesn't know, won't hurt him."

******

Finn left the bookstore but didn't look for Quinn right away. He needed time to think and get his head together, before he faced her again.

When he suggested that they go to the mall, his only intent was to see Kurt again. He knew it was pathetic, but Monday seemed so far away. He felt they had shared something at Glee practice. When everyone else had looked at him in confusion after his Skittles comment, Kurt was smiling. Finn wanted to kiss him then and there. That might have shut Quinn up, too.

So he had agreed to go shopping with Quinn for maternity clothes. Which was torture. Why, _why, why_ would a girl ask, "Do I look fat in this?" if she really did not want to know?

He had left her for a moment to look for something for his mom. A feeble excuse but since it didn't involve her, she really didn't care, anyway.

He was lucky he had found Kurt so quickly. He had no idea which stores had designer clothes in them, so he took a chance that Kurt might also go to a music store. He had gone to two others before he found him at Barnes and Nobles. His intent really had been to talk to him. He had a way of making Finn feel good, not like some others, and he really needed that right now.

When he got to where Kurt was at, he just stood and watched him for a while. He had on the headphones and was singing softly along. What caught Finn's attention, however, was the way he was moving to the music. His hips were swaying in his tight little jeans, and Finn was surprised by his own reaction to this.

He had fooled himself, somewhat, into thinking that he liked Kurt because he was sweet, he understood Finn, and he was a good kisser. He had tried to ignore the fact that he was also a guy. But now looking at him and wanting to be with him, he was thinking of him as a guy. He really didn't want to think about what that said about him. He wasn't ready for that.

And so he had grabbed him, dragged him away for privacy, and kissed him.

He didn't think of his motives, of the future, or of how he might be hurting Kurt in the long run. He just wanted to kiss him… and god yes, more than just kiss him.

Then Mercedes had caught them. Kurt had so many good friends, who really cared about him. He knew she would not say anything.

"Where have you been?" Quinn snapped as he finally approached her.

_Friends, good friends, were hard to come by. _

****

They were in Kurt's room sitting on the bed and eating chocolate. His dad was upstairs watching some monster truck show and drinking beer. His normal Friday night ritual. Although he knew Mercedes had come over, he did not know that she was going to stay. It was one of those don't ask, don't tell situations.

Kurt didn't think his dad really wanted to know. He just wanted to not have to think about it anymore. Kurt knew things had been different when his dad only suspected he was gay. He had still hoped that Kurt would grow out of it. Knowing for sure just brought it all to the forefront and now he had to deal with everything that came with it. Kurt knew it would get better with time. He just hated to see his dad suffer. He'd had enough pain in his life, already. They both had.

"So what was it like?" Mercedes was looking at him eagerly, ready to live vicariously through him. He had already described what had led up to the kiss.

"Amazing, but wetter than I expected."

"Really?"

"Yeah, but still amazing."

"So Kurt, I never thought I'd be asking you this…but tell me… what's it like to be smooching with the quarterback of the football team _and_ the most popular guy in school?"

"Well, if I had to describe it," he said, holding up a piece of dark chocolate candy. "I would say it was sweet, delicious, forbidden, and so good it's almost sinful."

Mercedes giggled at his description.

"In a word…_decadent_. That is my new favorite word."

They both started laughing so hard that they fell over. Kurt didn't know what it was about comparing Finn to chocolate that was so funny, but it had them cracking up.

When they finally were able to catch their breath, Kurt grew serious. He took a shaky breath.

"And also… painful," he said quietly.

Mercedes squeezed his hand.

"Then it's a good thing you have me to help you through it."


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: You guys are great. Thanks again for all the reviews!

First Kiss

Chapter Nine

The next few weeks flew by. Kurt was at times very happy... euphoric even... and at other times very depressed. He felt like he was bipolar, and his friends were even starting to notice.

Finn made sure he found a way to kiss him every day. Those were the best times… when they were together. But the other times, when he would see Finn with Quinn or Rachel, he would wonder he why he was doing this to himself.

Finn had it good. He had his cake, his pie, and his little chocolate éclair on the side.

There were times when he was really angry about the whole situation. During those times, he had no problem voicing his opinion to Finn. The other boy's excuse, of course, was the baby… his baby. And Rachel? She was just a friend, of course.

Mercedes would give Kurt that look that said…_you got yourself into this_…but then she was always there to pick up the pieces, if he fell apart.

Finn was even coming over to his house now. Kurt was tutoring him in Spanish. He needed help to pass so he could stay on the football team and eventually go to college.

And it was the perfect cover.

His dad was understandably suspicious. At times, he would show up, with barely a knock, in Kurt's room. Luckily, during those times, they were actually studying.

So Finn's grades improved. Quinn was nicer to him. And Rachel was helping him with his singing. The boy had it all.

So what did Kurt have?

Varying moments of jubilation and despair.

****

Kurt finished lunch early and separated himself from the rest of the group. He just didn't feel like company. He still had about fifteen minutes left before classes started again, and he thought he might find a quiet spot to listen to his IPod. Sometimes music was the only thing that helped.

As he walked past the janitor's closet, a hand reached out and pulled him in. Just for a second, he panicked. Memories of being thrown in the dumpster flashed through his mind. It was only for a second, though. No one had picked on him for quite a while now.

"Finn?" He couldn't make anything out in the tiny space; his eyes had not yet acclimated to the darkness.

The only answer to his question was a kiss that left no doubt as to the identity of his assailant.

In fact Kurt's body had seemed to know even before his brain had caught up.

The other boy finally pulled away, leaving Kurt out of breath.

"Wait," Finn said. "This is Kurt, right? I didn't accidently grab Mike or Puck by mistake?"

Kurt could now make out Finn's smiling face in the darkness, but before he could reply, Finn kissed him again.

"Yup," he said. "That's my Kurt."

Kurt couldn't help himself. He giggled at Finn. Of course, it didn't help that Finn was now nuzzling his neck. His sensitive skin was very ticklish.

"Finn," he said, pulling away slightly. "Stop that."

Finn again smiled at him.

"By the way, Kurt, I love this hat on you."

Although, of course, he knew he looked good in his green Gucci hat, Finn's compliment surprised him.

"Really?" Since when did Finn care about or even notice fashion?

"Yeah, it really brings out the green in your eyes. You have amazing eyes, Kurt."

Kurt was not usually one to have his head turned by a pretty phrase, but the intensity in Finn's look took his breath away. And then Finn kissed him again.

After a few moments, Kurt pulled away.

"You know, Finn," he said seriously. "We can't hide in the closet forever."

"I know," he replied with a sigh. "You go first, and I will wait a few minutes to leave."

Then he kissed Kurt one more time before pushing him gently toward the door. "Bye, Kurt," he whispered.

"Bye, Finn."

As he left the small room, Kurt wondered if Finn didn't understand his meaning or if he just chose to ignore it.

He went to his locker, still smiling, and thinking about Finn's usage of the words "my Kurt". He knew it was silly, but it felt really good.

Mercedes was at her locker.

"Hey, Mercedes."

"Oh, no, Kurt," she answered, shaking her head as she looked at him.

"What?" He raised a questioning eyebrow.

"You have that 'I've just been thoroughly kissed by Finn Hudson' look on your face."

"You know me so well," he said, with a smile.

"Problem is, Kurt," she said. "You are not the only one around here wearing that look."

"Thanks, Mercedes," he said sarcastically. He was no longer smiling.

"Just keeping it real for you, Kurt."

As he went on to his classes, he thought about her words. He knew Finn was still with Quinn and he realized that they probably kissed…or worse. _Oh, no. Don't think about that! _But really, was it so passionate? So thorough? So wonderful?

It couldn't be! Not when Finn was so sweet, so wonderful to Kurt.

He met up with Mercedes after classes. She was giving him a ride home. Finn was busy. Probably had to work.

As they walked out to the parking lot they saw Finn and Quinn. He was loading their stuff into the back of his car. Then Finn turned to her with a smile on his face and kissed her. _Quite thoroughly._ And in front of all the other students.

He didn't look at Mercedes as he got into the car.

"You okay?" she asked worriedly.

"Fine."

She didn't say anything more as she started the car.

"It's just," Kurt said, unable to keep quiet. "He really needs to choose, Mercedes. Does he want her or does he want me?"

"Kurt," she replied. "Listen to what you are saying."

He turned toward her then, trying not to cry.

"He's with her," she continued, "in public, and they are having a baby together. Honey, he has already made his choice."

Kurt nodded his head as his tears flowed. She was right. He hadn't thought about it like that. But Finn had obviously made his choice.

****

Finn drove home from his job at Olive Garden. He was tired… worn out. You wouldn't think being in a wheelchair for six hours would be exhausting, but it was. It was the pretending that made it so draining.

And he had already done that all day. He was tired of trying to juggle everything and having to lie. It wasn't that he was pretending to care about Quinn, Rachel, or even Kurt. He did have feelings for all of them. It was more that he was pretending not to care. That was what made it so difficult. Like when they were in Spanish class earlier today. He had realized just how green Kurt's eyes really were and he had wanted to kiss him right then and there, in front of everyone. Of course, he couldn't. So he just had to wait until he was able to get him alone in the janitor's closet.

Things were really getting complicated, and everyone seemed to want something from him. He didn't feel there was anything left for him. Why couldn't he just do what he wanted? Problem was… he didn't really know what he wanted.

He thought about going over to Kurt's house. Everything was simpler when he was with the other boy. He didn't have to think about anything but being with Kurt. In the end, he decided against it. Kurt was probably already asleep, and Kurt's dad definitely wouldn't be happy with Finn if he showed up so late at night. He still did not like Finn.

So Finn went home and fell exhausted into bed. Lately, he had been lying awake for hours thinking about … well, everything. Maybe tonight, he would be so tired, he could actually sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: Obviously, Glee and Kurt do not belong to me.

A/N: Obviously as the weeks go by, this story becomes more AU. I won't explain how or why because I don't want to reveal spoilers. We will also ignore the obvious AU (that they won't put Finn and Kurt together) because I will never give up hope. :) You guys are great. Thanks again for all the reviews!

First Kiss

Chapter Ten

Kurt had made a decision. He was going to tell Finn he was done. He couldn't keep doing this. It was a matter of self-respect. Kurt deserved better than to be treated like leftovers, when he should be the main course. He was a star, after all, not the _freaking_ _understudy_!

But most of all, he would not be cast in the role of the _other woman_. He would not be reduced to a cliché.

And he would not continue to put himself through this pain, over and over again.

He realized, however, that to get through this, he would need reinforcements. He could not do this alone. In the heat of the moment, he would just end up giving in to Finn. He decided to enlist Mercedes help. She would give him all the encouragement he needed. Besides, there was no way he wanted to go back to her and explain why he failed. She might just kick his ass… or maybe Finn's. He smiled at that. Finn was muscular and a jock, but he thought Mercedes could take him.

At lunch, they finalized their plan. He would wait until Finn came over to study. He definitely didn't want to do it in school. Of course, he was more vulnerable at home, since he would be alone with Finn, but they had a back-up plan. Mercedes would call him after about an hour to check and make sure he was following the plan.

Kurt told Finn to meet him at his house after school. He felt strong, and he knew that now was the time to do it. He still had the memory of Finn kissing Quinn as if she was the only one he cared about.

Kurt's dad was not going to be home. He had bowling league, tonight. Kurt went with him sometimes, although he refused to bowl. It ruined his manicure.

He told his dad they had a big Spanish test, and that they had to study. Thanks to Mr. Schue's great timing, they actually did have a test tomorrow. That would come in handy if his dad decided to actually check up on his story. Kurt had a moment of trepidation when his dad almost changed his mind. He knew his dad was probably thinking about him and Finn being there alone. In the end, though, his dad decided to go, because he didn't want to let down the team.

Finn was there on time, and they studied until Kurt was confident Finn could pass the test. He didn't want him to resort to cheating off of Britt again. That's one of the things that got him in trouble in the first place.

"Dude, let's take a break, okay?"

"Sure, Finn… I have something I want to say," he said, before he could change his mind.

"Okay."

"Finn, yesterday I saw you kissing Quinn in the parking lot and..."

"I'm sorry, Kurt," he said sincerely.

Kurt had rehearsed his speech, but he had to stop at that.

"Really?" he questioned the other boy. "Why, Finn? Why are you sorry? Or, are you just saying that to make me feel better?" He raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow at the other boy. "Obviously, I've seen you kiss Quinn many times. Do you even know why you _should_ be sorry?" He knew he sounded bitchy, but he couldn't help it.

Finn looked at him in surprise. "I'm sorry because it hurts you. You look kind of upset right now and I hate to see you like that." He gently touched the side of Kurt's face.

"Finn," Kurt said weakly. He couldn't help it; he closed his eyes as Finn softly ran his thumb across his cheek. It wasn't fair. Finn had managed to effortlessly break through his defenses.

"I _am_ sorry, Kurt," he whispered as he kissed him.

Kurt did not kiss him back, but he didn't push him away either. That didn't seem to deter Finn, as he continued kissing Kurt, trying to coax a response from him.

A voice in Kurt's head… a voice that suspiciously sounded like Mercedes'… reminded him that sorry was _not _good enough. He needed to remember the plan. It was hard to think, though, with Finn running his tongue over Kurt's bottom lip.

Kurt felt his resolve slipping.

_Really, what could one last kiss hurt?_

And he decided right then and there, that if… _when_, he corrected, he left Finn, he would leave him with the memory of an amazing kiss. One that he would never be able to get out of his head. Just let Quinn try and compete with that.

And so Kurt let Finn persuade him. And as he kissed him back eagerly, the tone of the kisses changed. Suddenly, they were no longer sweet and playful, but intense and… _devouring_.

Finn pulled away unexpectedly leaving Kurt confused.

"Your dad won't be home for awhile, right?"

Kurt nodded. "It will be hours before he gets back," he said breathlessly.

"Good. We never get any time to be alone."

"Oh," Kurt said quietly. His heart was pounding. He knew he had to stop Finn from doing what he thought he was going to do.

But he really didn't want to.

Finn kissed him again, passionately. After they kissed for a few minutes, Finn leaned back on the couch, pulling Kurt with him.

Kurt wasn't sure what to do. He knew they should stop… _he_ should stop. He was only going to get hurt but he wanted to be with Finn so much. And he felt like this was an opportunity to show Finn just how much he wanted him.

"Oh God, Kurt. You're killing me," Finn said, as Kurt started kissing his neck. He moved down to his shoulder, pushing his shirt out of his way. He had to admit that Finn tasted amazing.

Kurt had never done anything like this before, but he loved the feeling of Finn's body underneath him. Finn's hands held him tight as he grinded against him. Kurt honestly thought he was in heaven. He had never been so aroused before.

He pushed back, not sure exactly what he was supposed to be doing. If Finn's moans were any indication, he was doing something right.

And then Finn moved his hand down, lower… until it settled on his butt. Kurt noticed… for the first time, really… just how big Finn's hands were. And then Finn squeezed, pulling Kurt roughly against him.

Kurt pulled away, suddenly, scrambling to get off of the other boy.

"Kurt, is everything okay?"

But he could only look at Finn; his mouth was open in surprise.

Finn seemed to recognize that look on his face. "Oh, wait… did you…?

"No," Kurt admitted softly. "But, almost."

There was silence in the room. The sound of their unsteady breathing was the only noise.

"Can I ask, how you were able to stop from… you know?" Finn asked hesitantly.

"It wasn't actually that difficult. I just thought of kissing girls."

"Oh."

Kurt watched Finn's face at his statement. He hadn't actually thought of girls at all. He was just saying that. He had to admit he was still a little angry with Finn. And himself for giving in so easily.

He'd actually been thinking about what would happen if Mercedes went to Plan B and stormed into his room to save his sweet virgin soul. Definitely enough to dampen his affections.

"Finn, I need to tell you something." The thought of Mercedes reminded him of his mission.

"I need to tell you something, too, Kurt. But can I go first, before I lose my nerve?"

"Okay," Kurt said, surprised that Finn would be nervous about anything.

"I've been kind of practicing. No, wait. That's not really the right word. Anyway, I've been trying to improve so that I don't … you know." He blushed, and Kurt thought he had a good idea of what he was talking about. "Well, I've been doing that Kurt, because…" He hesitated, and Kurt wondered if he was losing his nerve.

"Go on…" Kurt encouraged him.

"I want you to be my… first."

"Your first what?" Kurt asked confused.

"You know," he said embarrassed. He wasn't even looking at Kurt, now. He was studying his hands.

Kurt couldn't help it, he laughed. And judging by the hurt look on Finn's face, that was absolutely the wrong thing to do. He sobered up quickly.

"I don't understand, Finn. Your first… what? Guy?" he asked. "Because that sort of implies that there will be more and… "

"No, Kurt. My first time with anyone."

"Are you making fun of me, Finn?" Maybe this was all a joke to him. Kurt could feel his face getting red.

"Of course not!" Finn said, running his hand through his hair, obviously frustrated.

"It just doesn't make sense, Finn. All the girls throw themselves at you."

"So you think I sleep around?" He was definitely sounding hurt now and just a little pissed.

"No, but Finn you have a _pregnant girlfriend_."

"Oh, yeah," he said a little calmer. "I didn't count that."

"It counts, Finn." Kurt said looking at him as if he was insane.

"Kurt, you don't understand. We didn't do anything. It wasn't even sex."

"Obviously, it was enough to get the job done."

"Look, Kurt," he explained. "We were in the hot tub and…"

"No!" Kurt put up his hand. "I do not need a mental image of you and Quinn, naked, in a hot tub having sex or not having it as the case may be."

"We weren't naked. We had our bathing suits on."

"Wait…you had your bathing suits on? So you really didn't…"

"No, dude," Finn stated.

"And she got pregnant… how?" Kurt was really confused now.

"My sperm are really good swimmers and the water was really hot and stuff…"

"You're joking." Kurt was skeptical, but Finn really seemed to believe what he was saying.

"No I'm not, Kurt," Finn said really getting angry now. "That's what Quinn told me. Are you challenging the ability of my sperm? That's like challenging my manhood, dude."

It seemed to Kurt that it was a strange thing to worry about considering a few minutes ago, Finn had had his tongue in a _guy's_ mouth.

However, at that moment, Kurt decided to rethink his strategy.

"Of course not, Finn," he said soothingly. "I am sure it happened just that way."

"I think I'm going to go," Finn said as he gathered his stuff. Kurt could tell he was still upset.

After he left Kurt just sat there. His mind was racing.

Then, right on time, the phone rang.

"Well, Kurt?" Mercedes asked. "Did you do it?"

Kurt was startled by her question as he thought back to what they almost did. Then he realized she was referring to their plan.

"No, I didn't break it off with him."

"Kurt!" He could tell she was irritated with him. "I bet he started kissing you, didn't he?"

"Yes, but it doesn't matter."

"It does, Kurt. It really does."

"No, Mercedes. Listen, I have important news," he said excitedly. "I need you to come over here. Stat!"


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: You guys are great! Thanks again for all the reviews! I can't always answer them all, but I really do read them all and take your comments and suggestions into consideration. I want to thank Whitvit for her reminder that Kurt is not always this nice… I promise Kurt is out of his slump and will be his usually icy self once more. I also want to thank MadMaddy1200 for her suggestion that I include each boy's fantasy about the other. So this chapter has Kurt's fantasy and the next chapter has Finn's. Just remember that this is rated T so it will not be that detailed. No worrys…I know you all have great imaginations, and you can fill in any gaps. Hope you enjoy!

First Kiss

Chapter Eleven

Mercedes made it to his place in record time.

"Let's hear it," she said, when they were settled on his bed. "And Kurt this better be good or I'm kickin' your ass for wimping out." The smile on her face took some of the sting out of her threat, but Kurt had no doubt that she would follow through, if he needed it.

"I did not wimp out. I told tell him I was upset about how he was kissing Quinn in the parking lot."

"And he said…?"

"Sorry."

She gave him a look and he held up his hand.

"Don't bother. I know what you are going to say."

"Good. Then I don't have to waste my breath reminding you of what we both know to be true." Lecture done, for the minute at least, she asked curiously, "Then what happened?"

"Then, he started kissing me and stuff…"

"Stuff?" she interrupted. Kurt couldn't help the blush that darkened his cheeks. "Please tell me you didn't…"

"No," he responded. "I stopped it before it got too far." Okay that was close to the truth. As close as he was going to get, at least. He really did not want an ass kicking.

"Really?" she looked unconvinced.

"Let's just say, the thought of you charging in here… helped."

"Then I have done my job," she said, with a smirk.

"The only reason, I am even bringing this up is because it is relevant… "

"How?" She looked at him curiously.

Kurt took a deep breath.

"Finn told me that he wanted me to be his first."

He almost laughed at the expression on her face. He knew he'd had the same look when Finn had told him.

"First what? Guy?"

"_Thank you_. That is exactly what I said."

"And he said…" she said impatiently.

"First with anyone."

"Kurt. Please, _please_ tell me that you are not stupid enough to believe that."

"Of course not, Mercedes. Finn on the other hand…"

She held up her hand to stop him. "You've lost me. What aren't you telling me, Kurt?"

Kurt then explained about the hot tub incident.

"You've got to be kidding me." At Kurt's shake of the head, she added, "I am sorry, Kurt, but Finn really is dumber than a box of rocks."

"Mercedes, he is just naïve and trusting."

"Uh, huh."

"You are missing the point here. Do you know what this means?"

"Yeah. Your boyfriend is an idiot."

"No," he said impatiently. "If Finn is not the father of Quinn's baby, then who is?"

Mercedes thought about that. "Quinn obviously knows… but does the baby daddy know?"

"I think we should find out," Kurt said excitedly.

"How?" Mercedes asked.

"By investigating. We will follow Quinn around. Not at the same time, of course. We don't want her to be suspicious. I really think we will be able to figure it out by watching her."

"We'll go all Sherlock Holmes on the place," Mercedes added.

"And Ellery Queen…"

"Wait. Who the hell is that?"

"He is a fictional American detective. Better even than Sherlock Holmes."

"I doubt that, Kurt."

"He was my mom's favorite," Kurt said softly.

"Okay, fine. I will be Sherlock Holmes and you can be…"

"Ellery Queen."

"Right."

"Great." Kurt was excited now that he was finally doing something. "Oh, maybe I can find a pair of pince-nez glasses and a felt hat to wear. Fashion is all about the accessories you know."

"Okay, why not?" she replied, even though he could tell she didn't have a clue what he was talking about.

And so they strategized until Kurt's father came home.

****

Kurt was having trouble sleeping. His mind was racing with possibilities.

_Finn wasn't the father of Quinn's baby._

Even though he knew Finn might still choose Quinn over him, he felt like he now at least had a chance. Finn's paternal instinct and the fact that he hadn't known his own father, had given Quinn an advantage. One she didn't deserve, considering she not only lied to Finn about being the daddy, but she also treated him terribly. Kurt no longer had any nice feelings for Quinn. Not that he'd had many to begin with, but he had felt sorry for her. No longer. Now she was just the bitch torturing his boyfriend. And for that she deserved to be humiliated and destroyed.

_It was most definitely on!_

Finn would know the truth. Kurt would make sure of it.

_And if he still picked Quinn?_

He wouldn't even think about that now.

There was something else, there in the back of his mind that was demanding his attention; it was something important that he was ignoring. It was just a feeling that, really, he should be concentrating on something else.

And then he remembered. Finn had asked him to be his "first". At the time, he had gotten so caught up in the impossibility of it all, and then the realization that Finn wasn't the baby daddy, that he missed the importance of that request. Finn had chosen him… instead of Quinn… instead of Rachel…

Instead of a _girl_.

He suddenly felt more optimistic than he had in a long time. Finn wanted him. And while he had known Finn enjoyed kissing him, they hadn't done much else. He had thought maybe the other boy was deluding himself into thinking of Kurt as a pseudo girl. Now he didn't think so.

Naturally, that led to other thoughts.

_What if he hadn't pulled away? _

Kurt hadn't let himself relive that moment, but now, alone in his bed, he allowed himself the luxury. Of course, he had fantasized about what it would be like to be with Finn, but his imagination could not compare with the reality.

The memory of Finn kissing him flooded back and left him tingling all over.

Kurt remembered the sound of Finn's uneven breathing and the musky scent of his body as he held him. When he kissed his neck he could feel the pulse in his veins and taste the salt on his skin. He now imagined running his tongue along that same path. Finn was intoxicating, and he couldn't get enough.

Most of all, he could never have imagined the exciting feelings that coursed through him as Finn was crushed against him. He could feel just how much Finn wanted him.

He remembered the feeling of Finn squeezing his butt, but he didn't let it overwhelm him. He didn't want this fantasy to end so soon.

His imagination took over from there:

Finn kissed the side of his neck. He alternated between licking and sucking on his sensitive skin, and Kurt moaned in appreciation. He didn't even care if Finn left marks. It was just a fantasy, after all.

"Kurt, I want to touch you," Finn said breathlessly.

"You are touching me," he replied, enjoying the feelings those hands evoked as they gripped him tightly.

"No, I mean I want to touch you, not your clothes."

And as if to emphasis this Finn reached his hand under Kurt's shirt and rubbed his hand lightly over the small of his back.

Kurt could barely talk then, thinking of the possibilities. Finn took his mumbled words as assent and then moved his hand downward. Finn's hand slipped underneath Kurt's jeans and his briefs. He was moving agonizingly slow, and the anticipation of his touch heightened Kurt's excitement. Finally his hand reached its destination and he touched his bottom. As Finn stroked the sensitive skin in between, Kurt…

…didn't make it any further. His fantasy dissolved as the intense feelings took over. Finally his breathing slowed.

He was frustrated that he never actually got very far in his fantasies; he just couldn't hold out that long. Just thinking about Finn was enough to do him in. If he couldn't keep from erupting early from his encounter with imaginary Finn, how was he going to make it through when actual Finn was touching him?

That was something he knew he had to work on… just in case.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: You guys are great! Thanks again for all the reviews! Again, thanks to MadMaddy1200 for her suggestion that I include each boy's fantasy about the other. This chapter belongs to Finn, and it gets a little steamy. Hope you enjoy!

First Kiss

Chapter Twelve

Finn stared up at his ceiling in the darkened room. He'd been lying awake for hours. He couldn't sleep but he didn't feel like playing video games or watching skinemax, either.

He felt almost physically ill. It was like in football when he was concentrating on a pass, and a defender came up from behind and sacked him. When he didn't know a hit was coming, he got the wind knocked out of him. That was how it felt. Like someone had punched him in the stomach.

He had been nervous when he made his earlier request to Kurt. He had worried about several things. One was Kurt's feelings. He knew Kurt cared about him a lot, and he didn't want to hurt him. The other thing was Quinn. He care about her, too, and didn't want to see her hurt, either. He also worried because he wasn't sure exactly how to have sex with a boy. Sure he had ideas, but he wanted it to be good for Kurt; he didn't want to hurt him. He had thought about looking it up on the internet, but he didn't. He had actually decided not to even bring it up to Kurt.

It was only when they were in Kurt's room, and he realized how much he really wanted him, that he changed his mind.

The only thing he had not been nervous about was Kurt's reaction. Kurt had wanted him to be his first kiss, so Finn was sure he would want this, too.

And so the only thing he was unprepared for was Kurt's reaction.

He had laughed at Finn. The memory brought with it a fresh wave of humiliation.

Kurt had always been there for him. Of all the kids at McKinley, Kurt was the one he trusted the most. He always felt like he could tell Kurt anything. And yet, when it came down to it, Kurt didn't believe him.

But could he really blame him? Who _would_ believe that he and Quinn had not actually had sex, when she was obviously pregnant? Hadn't he, himself, been shocked when she had told him?

He thought of Quinn then. He loved her, of course. She was the mother of his baby. That was what made this whole thing so complicated. He had to admit, though, that he did not always _like_ her very much. Lately, she was irritated with him almost all of the time. When she did have moments of sweetness, reminding him of the old Quinn, he could not help but respond to her. So of course he kissed her.

And, of course, that was what Kurt had been so upset about.

The funny thing was that, except for when they kissed, she did not let him touch her at all. He figured it had something to do with the pregnancy. He didn't mind, though. He was actually glad. He didn't feel right being with her… and thinking of Kurt.

And so, as always, his thoughts returned to Kurt. He thought of earlier in the other boy's room, when they had made out. They had never gone that far before, and Finn was glad that, at least, he had not erupted early. That was something he had been working on. It was becoming easier. He just thought of the scariest person he could think of at that moment.

Scarier than the Mr. Schue's wife, who seemed just a little crazy…

Scarier than Coach Sylvester when she was pissed about something…

Scarier than Coach Tanaka when they lost yet another football game…

Scarier, even, than Quinn's parents…

No, it was the thought of Burt Hummel walking in on them and wanting to kill Finn for hurting his only son… that was what stopped Finn from finishing too quickly. Of course, he doubted Mr. Hummel would be happy about that.

Finn thought about Kurt all the time. At night he would fantasize about him. He no longer thought of Quinn much at all, but he didn't dwell on why that was.

The first time he had fantasized about Kurt was the day in the mall when Mercedes had caught them. It wasn't, however, the first time he had thought of Kurt like that. Even before he and Kurt had gotten together, he had had those feelings for Kurt. They were little moments of awareness that Finn had pushed away before he even had the chance to think about them. Back then, he would not even allow the possibility that he might be attracted to the other boy. So those moments were ignored… until that day in the mall. They all came flooding back as if they had been there all the time, just below the surface, waiting for Finn to recall them.

Now those moments were the main focus of his fantasies. He wasn't sure why they excited him so much. He thought maybe it was because, at each of these moments, there had been the possibility of them getting together, if he just hadn't ignored his own feelings. And so he would think back to each instance, but in his fantasy it would end quite differently. He had several of these…

Kurt was teaching them the "Single Ladies" dance in full pads and his football uniform, only this time he was only teaching Finn…

Kurt threw the slushie on himself, but Finn helped clean him up…

Kurt slapped his butt as they were learning Push It, but then they practiced all the parts alone…

Kurt was in his attic helping him find something to wear, only this time Kurt ended up wearing only the combat helmet and a tie…

But his favorite was when they were in the locker room together, and Kurt tried to help him with his skin care…

"Your T zone is a little dry," Kurt said.

Finn looked down in surprise. Well, really what was he supposed to think? He was a teenage boy, and Kurt was handing him lotion.

"No, your face," Kurt explained with a laugh, gesturing with his hand.

Kurt was sitting on the bench in a fluffy white robe. His hair was damp, and his face was freshly washed. Finn thought he looked quite sexy like that. The knowledge that Kurt was naked underneath the robe made it difficult for him to breathe, as he watched droplets from Kurt's hair travel beneath the white cloth.

"Thanks, Kurt," he said hoarsely.

Kurt smiled at him. "No problem, Finn," he said. "I would do anything for you. _Anything_. You just have to ask."

And in the beginning, this was one of the points at which he had to imagine Mr. Hummel, just so that his fantasy didn't end too soon.

Finn stood up, pulling the other boy up with him. They stared at each other as he touched Kurt's face. His thumb tenderly stroking his lips. He then placed his hands on Kurt's shoulders and gently pushed down, guiding Kurt to his knees.

At this point the fantasy changed, and they were in Kurt's room instead of the dirty locker room. He could never imagine Kurt kneeling in that disgusting place.

He guided Kurt to his knees on the soft carpeting. Finn could see the desire in his eyes, and as Kurt leaned in closer...

Nothing Finn could have done or thought of could have stopped him at that point.

"Oh , Kurt!" he moaned loudly, caught up in the fantasy.

The room was then silent once again, except for his uneven breathing. Finn instantly regretted his outburst. What if his mom had heard him?

When he heard nothing, he returned to his fantasy. He pulled Kurt back up and kissed him softly. He then wrapped his arms around him, pressing his face into Kurt's fluffy robe. They held each other tightly for a long time.

Finn pulled back, letting go of the pillow he had been holding. As he swallowed the lump in his throat, he wished that Kurt was there with him. He would wrap his arms around him, and never let him go.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Thanks again for all the reviews! Things are now happening fast on the actual show, so my story is becoming really AU. Just so you know, for the most part, my story is set before Ballads so anything after that is not in my story. The exception is that some of the interactions between Kurt and Finn in Ballads did happen in my story.

First Kiss

Chapter Thirteen

Their plan was set. Kurt would follow Quinn before classes started and up until lunch. Then they would meet up, Kurt would report, and Mercedes would take over. Kurt wore his Burberry trench coat and Gucci sunglasses. He was never one to pass up an opportunity for fashion, and this outfit was espionage-chic.

He watched Quinn all morning but mostly, he just saw her with Finn. The couple arrived at school together, and they were together throughout most of the morning. Kurt didn't notice anything out of the ordinary.

Kurt tried to be objective, and he wrote everything down in his little notebook. His encounters with Finn were brief and from a distance. He wanted to remain impartial so he purposely kept away from the other boy. He really hoped Finn didn't think he was avoiding him for other reasons. Finn had been really upset at him last night.

When he arrived at Spanish, he nervously walked past Finn to get to his seat. The other boy just smiled and waved. Kurt smiled back. He didn't seem mad at all.

Quinn was also in their class, but there wasn't much talking due to the test. Kurt found that the test was not difficult for him. He wondered how Finn was doing. So far Finn had not looked at Brittney's paper, and he hadn't heard Mr. Schue get on to him even once about keeping his eyes on his own paper. He thought Finn was probably doing okay, and that made Kurt feel good.

"Kurt?" He looked up at Mr. Schue. "Are you done?"

"No… but almost," he replied, going back to his test.

At lunch time, he met back up with Mercedes, but there wasn't much to report. He hadn't seen Quinn really talk to anyone but Finn. So they were done discussing it before the others joined them.

Lunch was almost over when Finn came over to their table.

"Hey, everybody."

There was a chorus of greetings for the quarterback.

"Hey, Kurt," he then said. "I was wondering if you could help me some of the notes on the songs we're singing for Sectionals? I just can't seem to get it. Mr. Schue said we could use the room to practice."

"I can help you, Finn," Rachel said, smiling at him eagerly.

Finn just looked uncomfortable.

"That's okay, princess," Kurt said to her. "I got this."

She looked hurt, and he could tell Finn felt bad for her. Kurt stood up quickly before the other boy could say anything.

"Let's go." As he said good bye to the others, Mercedes rolled her eyes at him. He smirked at her. It would actually work out perfectly. If Finn was occupied, then Quinn was more likely to meet with the baby daddy.

As they walked down the hallway together, Kurt asked Finn about the Spanish test.

"It was awesome, Kurt! I actually knew the answers. At least I think I did…" His excitement was contagious, and Kurt smiled at him.

"I am sure you did well," he replied. "Last night you had it down perfectly." As soon as he said it, he regretted it. He wasn't sure Finn was ready to talk about last night.

He looked up at Finn, quickly. The other boy was no longer smiling as he stared at Kurt.

"Look, Kurt. About that…"

"I'm sorry, Finn. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did."

"It's okay, Kurt. Really." And then he smiled once again. Kurt found himself returning the smile, but then he looked away quickly. Watching Quinn made him realize that they probably weren't doing a good job of hiding their feelings. Not that he cared if anyone knew… but he knew that Finn cared.

They didn't say anymore until they reached the music room. Kurt sat at the piano, and Finn stood next to it.

"We need to actually practice. I really do need some help with those notes."

Kurt nodded as they ran through the scales and then the songs. At one point, Finn sat down next to him. "I meant what I said last night, Kurt."

"I know," he said softly. "After you left, I thought about it. I was wrong to question you, Finn. You've never lied to me." He took a deep breath. "And so my answer is… I think it'd be kinda cool to be your first," he said, repeating Finn's words from so long ago back at him. Finn smiled, and Kurt could tell he was also remembering their first kiss.

And then he kissed Kurt. It was gentle, sweet, and way too brief. "I wish we were all alone right now…"

"Me, too," Kurt whispered and then sighed. "But we'd better go."

"Yeah."

As they were walking out Finn had another request.

"Can I have a hug?"

"Sure." And they hugged for a while. Finn held him tight like he did not want to let him go. Kurt felt like crying; there was so much emotion in that hug. It was somehow more intimate even than the previous kiss.

"Okay." Finn pulled away, but he was wiping his eyes as he did so.

"See you later," he said, with a lopsided grin. Kurt watched as Finn was swallowed up by the sea of students going to their next class.

****

Finn waited until after football practice to approach Kurt again. They were finished dressing, and everyone else had already left. Kurt smiled at him as he drew near.

"You know, I don't think I told you this before, but I am really glad that you came back to the football team," Finn said.

"Well, it makes my dad happy, and it makes you happy. And I get to see more of you…" He then blushed at his choice of words. "I mean, I get to see you more often."

"That's what I like about it too," Finn said before kissing him.

Finn had intentionally waited until Kurt was dressed and not wearing his white, fluffy robe. He needed to have some self control. The kiss was unlike his earlier kiss. This one was more insistent and intense. He wanted to show Kurt how much he wanted him. When he pulled away, he knew he had accomplished his goal. Kurt was gasping for breath and appeared to be somewhat dazed.

"Wow! What brought that on?"

"I had a really hard time during eighth hour. I just wanted to kiss you…" And then he tried to kiss him again.

Kurt put his hand on Finn's chest. "Slow down, cowboy."

Finn looked at him in confusion.

"I am not even in your eighth hour class. You have history, and I have science."

"I know," Finn replied. "But Brittney is…"

Kurt looked confused.

"Brittney loves rainbows. It's all she talks about," he explained.

"I know. It's very annoying. But Finn, I don't see what that has to do with anything?" he asked. "Unless, of course, everything reminds you of me."

"Actually, Kurt, everything does remind me of you," he admitted. "But in this case there is a reason."

"Really, Finn, because I just don't get it."

"Skittles…"

Kurt still looked blank.

"The commercials?" he explained. "Skittles… taste the rainbow." He could tell Kurt understood then as he looked into his green eyes.

"It just got me thinking about how much I wanted to, you know.… _taste the rainbow_."

"Oh, I see," Kurt said with a smile as Finn drew him into another kiss. Kurt put his arms around Finn's neck, stretching up to reach the other boy. Finn moaned in appreciation and pulled Kurt closer.

All too soon, Kurt pulled away. "As delightful as this is, Finn, we have to stop."

"I know."

"Otherwise we won't be able to, and I don't want our first time to be in a smelly locker room where anyone could walk in on us."

"How about if I come over tonight?"

"Um, I can't," Kurt said. "I have to help my dad… and then Mercedes is coming over."

"Okay. How about Friday night? My mom is working a double shift so we would have the house to ourselves."

"Sounds perfect," Kurt said. He gave Finn one more kiss before they left the locker room.

****

"What the hell are you thinking?"

Kurt knew he shouldn't have told Mercedes his intentions for Friday night, but she was his best friend, and he had to tell someone.

"Mercedes…"

"No, Kurt. You tell me what has changed since yesterday… when you were going to break up with him?"

"He picked me. Not Quinn. Not Rachel. That is what has changed."

"Yeah, Kurt. He picked you. He picked you to have sex with him… and from what I can tell, Quinn just won't give him any."

"That's not fair. And I think that Rachel would if he asked," he replied. "You are missing the point, Mercedes."

"No, Kurt. You're missing the point. He is still with Quinn. I just wish you would wait. At least until this is all out in the open. Then he will be free to decide what he wants."

"But what if he doesn't choose me then? I don't think I could take it," he said quietly.

"Then you don't need him, Kurt. You deserve someone who wants you… only you."

"You sound like my dad," he said with a small smile.

"That's cuz your dad is right."

"Yeah, I know. I promise I will think about it, okay? Now tell me what you found."

She accepted his change of subject.

"Except for Finn, she only talked to two guys. The first one was Mike. She smiled at him and batted her eyes…"

"Hussy."

"But it was only for a few minutes. Then she went to the gym, where she talked to Puck."

"So you think it's one of those two?"

"Well, actually, I got the feeling she only talked to Mike, so she could find out where Puck was at. She and Puck actually argued.

"Any idea what about?"

"No. But they both seemed very angry."

"Interesting."

"So tomorrow, I think we should split up. I'll follow Quinn, and you follow Puck."

"That is not going to happen," he said stubbornly.

"Why?" she asked. "What's the problem?"

"I do not have a death wish, Mercedes."

"Okay, Drama Queen."

"I'm serious, Mercedes. He has thrown me in dumpsters, thrown pee balloons at me, and nailed all my lawn furniture to my roof. And all of that for just… _existing_. Think of what he will do if he catches me following him. Best case scenario, he will think I am up to something. Worst case, he will think I like him… a sure death sentence."

"Okay, Kurt. Lighten up. I will follow Mohawk Boy and you follow Queen Bee."

"Good," Kurt said with relief. He took a deep breath to calm down.

Mercedes must have realized how upset he had become, judging by her next suggestion.

"Let's watch Sound of Music. I know that is one of your favorites."

Kurt agreed, accepting her peace offering. The rest of the evening was spent drama-free.

A/N: Thanks to yaaaaaaayme for her "taste the rainbow" reference. :)


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: As you all know by now, this fic is AU. I am not going to give any spoilers but let's just say I will be revealing secrets in a different way in my story than they did in the show. I have my story all planned out, and there is at least ten more chapters. Hopefully that will help you through the long hiatus. I want to say thanks again for all the reviews. You guys are awesome!

First Kiss

Chapter Fourteen

Kurt was at school early the next day so that he could be there when Quinn arrived. The first thing he noticed was that she drove herself. Of course, he wanted to put his own significance on that, but he didn't. He just wrote it down in his little notebook.

He tried to keep enough distance between them so she wouldn't notice that he was following her. It was just a precaution though, since he was fairly sure she considered him to be _beneath her notice_. However, you could never be too careful.

Kurt didn't see Finn much at all, and that was alright with him. He didn't need a distraction right now.

He had one more class before lunch, and luckily Quinn was in that class with him. As he walked toward the classroom, he noticed Quinn going in the opposite direction.

He decided to skip his class and follow her. She walked out of the building, and he wondered where she was going.

As he walked out of the door, he felt someone grab his shirt and push him roughly against the wall of the school.

Quinn was staring at him, obviously pissed.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?"

"I have no idea what you are talking about… and you are creasing my shirt. It's Versace," he said disdainfully.

She let go of him in disgust.

"Why are you following me?"

"I'm not… "

"Save it, Tinkerbell," she said. "I saw you earlier, too."

Kurt decided the direct approach would be the best. "I know you are up to something," he accused. "And I know that Finn is not the father of your baby."

"You don't know anything... " she said, and then she must have seen something in his face because she suddenly changed tactics. "Whatever you think you know… it doesn't matter. Finn will never believe you."

"I am aware of that."

"So _that's_ why you are following me… "

"You catch on quick, Barbie," he said looking at her with disdain.

"Listen up, Nancy Drew. You keep following me, and I _will_ kick your ass. Don't think I can't."

"The truth will come out, Quinn." He crossed his arms. He wasn't sure if was just a reflex or a flimsy defense in case she decided to do him harm.

"Why do you even care, Kurt?" she asked.

"Finn's my friend," he said, trying to look impassive. He was obviously unsuccessful.

"Oh, now I see," she said with a smirk. "You want Finn for yourself. Of course, why not?" she continued. "All the girls in school are in love with Finn. Why not the little gay boy, too?" She looked at him as if he was something she had just scraped off of her shoe. "You're pathetic."

"I will find out who the baby daddy is, and then everyone will know, including Finn."

"And then what, Martha Stewart?" she countered. "You and Finn will live happily ever after? Wake up and smell the coffee. Finn likes girls, not boys, Kurt. So you will never, ever have a chance with him."

Kurt was silent as he thought back to yesterday in the locker room. She had absolutely no clue. He smiled at her.

"Whatever, cupcake," he said, nudging past her.

****

He met Mercedes for lunch with some trepidation. She was not going to be happy with him.

"I got nothing," she said. "Puck flirted with Santana and some other Cheerio, and then he hung out with Finn. Nothing. What did you find out?"

"Well," Kurt said opening his notebook. He took his time… not sure how to tell her. "Quinn drove to school, instead of riding with Finn," he began. "And at fourth hour, she skipped her class."

"Really? Where did she go?"

"Outside."

"And?" She gave Kurt a frustrated look, and he knew he couldn't stall much longer. "Spill it," she demanded.

"And then she caught me following her."

Mercedes shook her head.

"What did you tell her?"

They had talked about what they were going to say if either of them got caught. Unfortunately, Kurt had forgotten all about it.

"Kurt?"

"I lost my temper. I told her I knew that Finn was not the baby daddy, and that I would find out who it was."

"Oh, Kurt," she said. "This is bad."

"Actually, Mercedes," he admitted. "It gets worse. She knows that I have a thing for Finn." Mercedes gave him a look, and he explained. "She guessed, and I am not that good at hiding my feelings."

"Great."

"But she doesn't know about Finn and I. She is too sure of herself for that."

"Don't underestimate her, Kurt. She is smart. She will find out. Especially since you boys are always mooning all over each other."

"We are not," Kurt protested.

"Okay. Whatever," she said. "You just need to be careful."

He decided to change the subject. "What are we going to do now?"

Mercedes smiled. "Plan B."

"We have a Plan B?" he asked.

"I always have a Plan B."

"Do you mind elaborating on this plan?"

"Actually, Kurt, my boy," she said. "I _do_ mind. Just in case you get caught behind enemy lines again."

"Come on, Mercedes. It'll be fine."

"Really? Did you not just tell Quinn our entire plan?"

Okay, well she did have a point there.

"Fine," he said sullenly.

"I promise to let you know as soon as I can, Kurt."

And then he smiled at her. "Thanks, Mercedes. You are a good friend."

"Yeah, I know," she said, smiling back at him.

****

"Kurt, wait up."

He turned toward Finn, who was running to catch up to him.

"Finn, hi," he said, as they walked into the auditorium together.

"I just wanted to let you know that I am all ready for Friday night," he said quietly so no one around them could hear.

"Okay." Kurt tried to appear calm, as if they were talking about the weather. That was difficult considering inside he was excited, nervous, and thinking how gorgeous Finn was looking today in a long sleeve grey American Eagle shirt.

"I mean, I did some research… and I got some stuff that we might need…" Finn actually blushed then.

"Oh, great," Kurt said, slightly out of breath from thinking about Friday night… and all that would entail. He had told Mercedes that he would think about it, and he had. Only, not in the way she had wanted.

"I gotta go before Quinn starts looking for me."

Kurt nodded as Finn reached down and squeezed his hand. Kurt knew it was a substitute for the kiss goodbye that he could not give him.

And from across the room, Quinn watched the pair angrily.


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: Thanks again for all the reviews! I know everyone is getting anxious for Kurt and Finn's date but we have a few chapters to get through first.

First Kiss

Chapter Fifteen

Finn and Kurt? Quinn wouldn't have believed it if she hadn't seen it with her own eyes. Although she couldn't hear what they were saying, she could tell from their body language that something was definitely going on between them. Then she had watched as Finn had squeezed Kurt's hand before he left.

"I am going to squash that Gucci wearing, Prada loving little cockroach!"

She had become suspicious at Kurt's smug look when she told him that Finn would never be his. And she found that when she was actually looking for it, it was quite obvious. They weren't even being discreet about it. Kurt and Finn were having an affair. She didn't know if they had actually hooked up yet, but if they hadn't they probably soon would, judging by the looks they were giving each other.

How could she have let this happen? Although really, she thought, putting the blame where it should be… she shouldn't be too surprised. Finn was wishy-washy at best. He could be talked into almost anything, so why should she be surprised that he was confused about his sexuality, too.

And Kurt… she would take care of him. When she was done, he would wish he had never met Finn. She had to be careful, though. She had to figure out a way to use this to her advantage.

****

Mercedes made it to Glee practice early that day. She had to talk to Kurt. Her Plan B had worked amazingly well. She needed to tell him what she had found. As soon as she saw him, she motioned for him to come over. The only other people there were Artie and Tina, and they were too engrossed in each other to notice anything else.

"Did you find out anything?" he whispered.

"Yes, but I have no idea what it means."

"Is Puck the baby daddy?" Kurt asked.

"Not sure yet, but it looks that way."

"So what's your news?" He looked confused.

"After lunch, Quinn snuck outside and got into her car."

"So?"

"So, guess who she met out there."

"Puck?"

She shook her head.

"Come on, Mercedes. Just tell me."

"Our ex-school nurse."

"Who?"

"Mr. Schuester's wife."

"That's it?" he asked. "Isn't she pregnant, too? Maybe they are exchanging vitamins or doing something else that pregnant women do."

"No, Kurt. They were sneaking around and acting suspicious. I am telling you, something is going on. Plus there was another woman there with them."

"Who?"

"I don't know."

"So did _you_ see them?"

"No. I paid a freshman to follow Quinn. I told him it was a story on the ex-Cheerio for the school paper."

Others started trickling in, and they weren't able to talk any more about it.

Mercedes noticed that Quinn gave Kurt an evil look, and then she glared at her. Mercedes just stared back. She used to feel sorry for Quinn. She could even understand why Quinn lied about Finn. Really, who would want Puck (if it was him) as the baby daddy if you could have Finn? But now the girl was messing with Kurt's happiness and treating him like dirt. And Mercedes would not stand for that. No one messed with her friend and got away with it.

"Okay, guys. Settle down," Mr. Schue said. "As you know Sectionals are a little over a week away. We really need to practice more so we will be having a practice every day next week."

There were a lot of grumbles. "But Mr. Schue," Finn interjected. "We have football practice."

"And we have Cheerio's practice," Santana added.

"Look guys. I don't know what is going on… everyone seems to be distracted or something. We really need to get this. We have to practice more."

"We could practice on Saturday to make up for it," Rachel supplied helpfully.

Everyone groaned.

"Great idea, Rachel!" Mr. Schue said. "This is the problem guys. If we don't win at Sectionals, then Glee Club is over."

Everyone mumbled there assent to the plan.

"Okay, so we will have a Saturday practice, and then if we can get in at least three more practices next week, I think we will be fine."

They finalized the schedule and then moved on.

Practice actually went fairly well. Finn did better than he had been doing, and everyone else followed suit. Mr. Schue seemed happy, at least.

Mercedes followed Kurt out of the choir room after it was over. "Are you helping your dad today?"

"Yeah, I promised him I would."

"Okay, well, I'll call you later so we can talk about… you know what."

The look on his face told her that he understood what she was talking about, but was not happy about it. Instinctively, she reached into her pocket to get her phone. It was not there.

"Damn. I must have dropped my phone. I'll talk to you later, Kurt."

"Okay, bye."

Mercedes made her way back to the music room. The pants that she was wearing were so cute, but the pockets were too small. Things were always dropping out. That was why she didn't usually wear them but they go so well with the shirt she wore today. Fashion was more important than practicality. Man, Kurt was really rubbing off on her.

As she walked in, she heard angry voices. She stopped.

"Come on, Puck!"

"You know, maybe it's time, Quinn. Time everyone knew the truth."

"No, Puck. Please. I just need you to be careful. Inspector Gadget and his little friend are looking for anything… "

"I told you, I would take care of you and the baby, Quinn."

"Puck, please… for me."

Although, Mercedes couldn't see them, she had no problem picturing Quinn pouting at him and giving him those sad, innocent looks. She could be quite convincing.

"Fine, but I'm getting tired of all of this. Finn's not going to be as good a father as me."

"It doesn't matter, Puck. You know this. I am not keeping it."

"And what makes you think Mr. Schue is going to be a better dad than me?"

"Shhh, Puck. I just told you about Mrs. Schue taking the baby so you would know she is going to be in good hands. Don't make me regret it!"

"Okay, babe," he said turning on the charm. "I got it."

Mercedes backed away, trying to be as quiet as she could.

She would have to come back after they left to get her phone. Then she was going over to see Kurt. This was big news!

****

"Kurt," his dad said exasperated. "You said you would help me today."

"I know, Dad," Kurt said, trying to placate him. "And I will."

Mercedes had shown up all excited about something. "It's just," he continued, nodding toward Mercedes, "she needs some advice. She's having boy trouble."

"And she's coming to you?"

"She's my best friend, Dad. I can't just leave her hanging."

"And I am your dad," he said, but without much conviction. Kurt knew then that he had won.

"I'm going to get some coffee. Just make it quick, Kurt. I don't want to be here all night."

He nodded as his dad walked away.

"This had better be good, Mercedes," he said as he steered her toward the other side of the shop.

"Oh, it is!" she said, and then she explained what she had overheard.

"Holy, hell! So, Puck is the father, and Quinn is giving the baby to Mr. and Mrs. Schue? But isn't she already pregnant?"

"I don't think she is… why else would they be meeting in secret? And why would she need Quinn's baby? I am betting Mr. Schue doesn't know."

"This is good… very good. Well, not for Mr. Schue but for us."

"Somehow, Kurt, we need to get Puck to admit he is the father. That is the only way Finn will believe it."

"Kurt?" His dad was back and waiting on him, coffee now in hand.

"Okay, Dad."

"I'll call you, tonight, Mercedes. I think he just needs a push in the right direction."

"Okay, Kurt. Bye, Mr. Hummel."

After she was gone, they walked back to the front of the shop.

"So that was your advice to her?" his dad said, shaking his head as he grabbed his tools.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: Thanks again for all the reviews! I really appreciate each and every one. And so here is another chapter. Two in one weekend! Yay.

First Kiss

Chapter Sixteen

Quinn was in a foul mood the next day. Really, all the stress could not be good for the baby. Why couldn't things be simpler?

Puck had grumbled quite a bit, but hopefully she had convinced him to keep quiet. And then she had to deal with Finn and Kurt. She didn't really know how she felt about it. It wasn't like she was really in love with Finn. She just wanted to keep all her options open. And she didn't like the thought of anyone taking things that belonged to her. She and Finn had been together for a while. Who did Kurt think he was anyway?

And yet, it could be useful. Right now, Finn was distracted, giving Quinn time to think. Finn was also a good guy, and she could definitely use that to her advantage.

Finn was at his locker and Kurt was down the hall talking to Mercedes, when she arrived at school.

_Perfect._

"Hey, Finn," she said sweetly, as she moved beside him.

"Quinn, hey."

She then kissed him ardently, counting on the fact that Kurt was watching them.

When she pulled away, she noticed with satisfaction that Finn was visibly dazed.

"I've missed you, Finn," she said. "We never seem to get any time together anymore."

"But, wait. I thought that was what you wanted. You said… "

"Never mind what I said, silly," she purred. "Let's go out tonight. Just the two of us… or we can stay in. Whatever you want." She leaned into him suggestively.

"I… can't… " Finn stammered. His nervousness got her attention.

"Do you already have plans?"

"Yeah. You said you were going to hang out with the girls."

"I know but I changed my mind. I just want to spend time with you."

Quinn noticed that he looked really uncomfortable.

"So what are you doing tonight, Finn?"

"Oh, I am just hanging out with the guys." There was something suspicious in the way he answered her.

"Puck and Mike?"

"Uh, no."

"Matt?"

"No, Kurt and I are hanging out," he finally admitted.

"I see," she said. "But isn't the Spanish test over, Finn?"

"Kurt and I are… friends."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

He seemed really nervous. Something was definitely up. This wasn't just hanging out.

"Well, maybe I could join you boys. What are you planning to do?"

"Um… I… It's just… I don't think that would work. " Finn was turning nine shades of red, and Quinn knew she had her answer.

"Then just tell Kurt that you want to spend time with me. After all, girlfriends should come before friends."

Here was the test. What would he do? She needed to see what kind of hold Kurt had on him. She was not happy with the answer.

"No, Quinn. I'm not going to cancel on Kurt."

Having said this he now appeared somewhat afraid. She knew he expected her to yell at him. The thing was… he really didn't know her very well at all.

"Okay, sweetie. Have your boys' night out. Maybe we can do something tomorrow after Glee practice."

And then she kissed him again. As she turned and walked down the hall, she smirked at Kurt. Of course he had been too far away to hear their conversation, but she had no doubt that he had watched the show.

****

Quinn had trouble concentrating on her classes. She was thinking about her encounter with Finn. It was obvious that he and Kurt had a special night planned. She wasn't sure if they had slept together yet, but if not they were close. She had to be careful now. If she pushed Finn and made him choose, he might just choose Kurt. And she could not have that. She had to be smart about this. She was not going to lose her boyfriend to a boy who wore a corset and resembled a porcelain doll.

Her fourth hour class was next. This was a class she had with Kurt. Before he could get into the classroom, she cornered him.

"Come along, sweetie. We're going to have a girl to girl chat."

"But we have class right now."

"I know, but we're skipping it," she said.

She didn't even look to see if he followed her. She knew he would. He hesitated, however, when he saw their destination.

"The girls' bathroom?"

"Oh, please, Kurt. We both know this isn't your first time in here."

He followed her in as she checked the stalls. All empty. She motioned for him to stand out of the view of anyone walking in the door.

Then she came straight to the point.

"You are having sex with my boyfriend."

His mouth opened in surprise, and then he closed it again.

"No…"

"Then you are _planning_ on having sex with my boyfriend."

It was a statement and not a question. When he didn't answer she continued.

"You have nothing to say? Well, let's try again. You are planning on having sex with my boyfriend… _tonight._"

"He told you?"

She could tell he didn't mean to say that… it had just slipped out. She smiled at him then. "No, but you just did."

He gave her an icy look.

"What do you care, Quinn?" he asked, putting his hands on his hips. "It's not like you are sleeping with him… or ever have… or ever will. Especially when he finds out that you've been lying… "

"Blah, blah, blah… Here's the deal Princess Leia, even if Finn and I were to ever break up… you could never, ever give him what he wants. Something he will want even more if you break his heart by telling him he is not a daddy."

"Just so we're clear, Quinn. You are the one breaking his heart."

The door to the bathroom opened then. Quinn gave the freshman an evil look.

"Go away!" she demanded.

The girl fled, obviously fearful for her life.

"The truth is… Finn will want a child someday, and that is something you just can't give him."

"If it comes to that, there are ways. Just look at Rachel."

"Actually, Kurt, _look at Rachel_. That just proves my point."

The dirty look he was giving her encouraged her to continue.

"Should a child really grow up without a mother?" she said. "You know, Kurt, Finn told me about your mom dying when you were young…" She noticed with satisfaction that he appeared upset about this.

"Would you really do that?" she continued. "Deprive a child of its mother?" If she could make him cry… well, that would be a bonus.

"Who do you think you're talking to, Quinn? I am not some little freshman that you can manipulate. And I am not Finn," he said with that haughty tone that she hated so much. "Would I deprive a child of its mother? I guess it depends. Because… and I'm just being honest here… a child would be better off without a mother, than to have a mother like you."

She gasped in surprise at his words.

_So the little kitten has claws! _

It was just because she was hormonal at the moment, and she was confused about whether she wanted to keep the baby, that she felt a sting of tears at his words. But she would not cry. She would not show him any sign of weakness.

"Enjoy your time with Finn while you can, Kurt, because it will not last."

"You may be right, Sweet Pea," he said as he walked past her. "Only time will tell."

She watched him angrily as he walked toward the door.

"Oh, and Quinn," he said turning back around. "Give my best to Mrs. Schue."

And then he was gone.

She just stared at the spot where he had been, in anger and disbelief. He obviously knew more than she had thought.

What was she going to do now?


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: Thanks again for all the reviews!

First Kiss

Chapter Seventeen

Kurt and Mercedes ate their lunch in silence. He had told her all about the bathroom incident. Lucky for him, she wasn't too mad that he let it drop about Mrs. Schue.

They were each trying to think of what to do next.

"Oh, no," Mercedes said, motioning toward Quinn. The ex-Cheerio was headed in their direction.

"Well, well. If it isn't the Powerpuff Girls. Shouldn't there be three of you?"

"What do you want, Quinn?" Mercedes asked.

"I just wanted to remind you both that we have Sectionals coming up. It would be a shame for all of our hard work to be for nothing."

"What are you going on about?"

"I thought you were smarter than that… but whatever. Let me explain it to you. If Finn learns some disturbing news… If he can't handle it, then we have no chance at Sectionals. By the same token, Mr. Schue needs to be at his best as well. Do you really want to mess this up? You will have single handedly destroyed Glee Club. Of course, Coach Sylvester will probably give you a medal. Think about it."

She gave them an evil smile before leaving them alone.

"She is such a bitch, Mercedes."

"But she's right, Kurt."

"How can you say that?"

"Kurt, Finn is finally back on track. He did well yesterday. You saw how bad he was doing before… "

"Because of me…"

"Because he was confused about his feelings for you. How will he be if he finds out that he is not the baby daddy but his best friend is?"

"So we should wait until after Sectionals to put our plan into place?"

"I think we have to, Kurt. For Glee Club."

He nodded sadly, resigned.

"I also wanted to talk to you about tonight."

"Mercedes…"

"Listen, Kurt. I think you should wait but it's not up to me. If this is what you want then I say… go for it."

"Really?"

"Yes, but just remember. I want details."

At his look she clarified her statement.

"Okay, not all the details. Just some."

****

Finn was glad school was over. He'd had trouble concentrating all day. On the one hand, he felt guilty about Quinn. Technically, he was cheating on her. On the other hand, he was nervous and excited about the night planned with Kurt. He started his car. He was anxious to get home; he had a few last minute things to do…

Suddenly the passenger door opened, and Quinn got in the vehicle.

"Quinn. Didn't you drive today?"

"I just wanted some time alone with you, Finn. I have something to tell you."

"Okay."

"First of all, I know you are seeing Kurt." He looked at her in surprise.

Did she really know anything? She couldn't. She had to be guessing.

"And that you are planning on having sex with him tonight."

_Damn, either she was a really good guesser or…_

"He told you?" Finn asked, his mouth open in shock.

"Not in so many words, but you just confirmed it."

He closed his mouth as if he could keep from saying anything else.

Finn looked around to make sure there were others in the parking lot. She could easily kill him and dump his body. No one would ever know.

"And… I don't care," she continued.

"What? Really?" He was really confused now.

"Go ahead, Finn, and have your fling with Kurt. You think I have never experimented? There was that one time with Santana… "

"Um, okay." He didn't know what to say. It didn't seem real. Was it a trap? One of those girl things where they say one thing and mean another?

"I totally understand, Finn. In fact, I actually blame myself."

"You do?"

"Of course. I have been pulling away and not letting you near me. You're a guy, Finn. You have needs… and without me, you turned to Kurt. I have to admit, I would have expected Rachel but whatever."

He just looked at her in confusion. He could not believe what she was telling him.

"And since it is a guy, well you aren't really cheating."

"I'm not?"

"No, silly. Just make sure that when you are done playing with your little boy toy, that you come back to me… and our baby."

He looked at her in surprise.

"But, I thought… "

"Finn, that is what I wanted to tell you," she said with a smile. "I want us to be a family. You and me and baby Drizzle."

Finn was in shock. He would get to raise his baby girl? That's all he wanted. He didn't even realize how much until now.

He looked at her with disbelief. "Is this for real, Quinn?"

"Yes, I love you, Finn," she said. "And I want us to be together."

She hugged him then.

"And I am not going to push you away, anymore, Finn. I realize I have neglected you and that's going to change. We're going to be a family so I think it would be okay for us to be closer."

"Closer?" He wasn't sure what she meant.

"You can touch me if you want."

"Touch you?" He knew he sounded like a parrot, but he was having trouble focusing.

"In fact, Finn," she continued. "I want you to touch me." She picked up his hand. "I want you to touch my breast."

"Over the clothes?" he asked, disbelieving.

She leaned in closer. "No," she whispered in his ear. "Under the bra."

He felt a little faint as she guided his hand down the front of her top. He was having trouble breathing as he touched her in a place previously forbidden.

It was wonderful but a part of him felt guilty, as if he was cheating on Kurt. He was so confused. How did everything get so mixed up?

And then Quinn kissed him deeply before pulling away.

She straightened her clothes.

"So have fun with Kurt tonight, Finn, but remember that it doesn't mean anything. You have a family now."

He didn't say anything. Really what could he say? She was telling him that they were going to be a family and that he should go ahead and have sex with Kurt… all in the same breath.

"Oh, and Finn," she said. "Please use protection."

As Finn watched her return to her own vehicle, he wasn't sure how to feel.

****

Kurt accidently dropped the wrench he had been holding for his dad.

"Kurt? What's up with you tonight?"

"Nothing," Kurt said, but he knew he didn't sound convincing. He was very nervous about his upcoming date with Finn.

The look his dad gave him told Kurt he wasn't fooled.

"Fine. We can finish this up tomorrow after your Glee practice."

"Okay, thanks Dad," Kurt said. He hesitated for a minute before adding, "By the way, I am going out tonight, if that's okay."

"Sure," he said. "With Mercedes?"

"No, with Finn."

"I see." He paused for just a second. "Come sit with me for a minute, Kurt."

He was wary as he followed his dad to the back of the shop. They sat at the small table.

"Yeah, Dad?"

"You know, Kurt, having sex for the first time… well, it's a big decision. You need to make sure you are ready for it… "

Kurt just stared at his dad. Really, did he have a big sign on his forehead that read 'Having sex with Finn Hudson tonight'? He unconsciously rubbed his head and then automatically fixed his bangs.

"Why are you telling me this, Dad?"

"Because, I can see the way you look at that boy, Kurt. And from what I can tell, he feels the same way. If it was up to me, you would wait until you were thirty five," he said with a smile. "But it isn't up to me, and I've wanted to say this for a few weeks now. I'm just not good at this stuff."

"You're doing fine so far," Kurt said with a small smile.

"It's just… " he continued. "It's not like it is in the movies, Kurt. The first time is exciting, but it is also scary and awkward. And for girls…" He paused. "Well, for some… it's painful."

Kurt nodded. He didn't think he could say anything at that point. He couldn't even believe they were having the sex talk.

"It changes things, Kurt. Even in the best relationships. There are a lot of emotions involved. So you really need to be ready. Don't let anyone pressure you," he added emphatically.

"I won't, Dad. I promise."

"So just make sure when you do have sex, it's for the right reason and with the right person."

"Okay, Dad."

His dad nodded as he stood up. Kurt was just relieved the talk was over. His dad started to walk away but then turned back around.

"Oh, and Kurt," his dad said.

"Yeah?"

"Just… make sure you use protection."

"Okay, Dad," he said quickly. He really didn't want to talk about it anymore.

Now, he was _really_ nervous.


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: Thanks again for all the reviews! Here it is! Finn and Kurt's date. Finally. Hope you all enjoy it.

First Kiss

Chapter Eighteen

As Kurt drove over to Finn's house, he enjoyed the feeling of being in his car again. He loved everything about his car from the leather seats to the amazing stereo system. Currently he had the soundtrack from _Grease_ blaring as he sang along. He was surprised that his dad gave him his car back early. He was probably worried that Kurt would be stranded at Finn's, where the other boy could take advantage of him. Whatever the reason, it felt good driving his baby once more. As he had left, his dad's warning about not breaking the windshield again, had followed him out the door.

When he reached Finn's house, he knocked on the front door. His hand was shaking just a little. He was extremely nervous. His dad's talk was still in his mind as Finn opened the door.

_Wow!_

He looked amazing. He was wearing tan khaki pants and a chocolate-colored sweater that looked delicious on him. Although he was still nervous, Kurt felt better. Finn really was the right person. He loved him. He wanted to be able to tell him… maybe he would tonight.

"Come on in, Kurt." He smiled at him. "You look great."

"Thanks, Finn," Kurt said. He had taken a long time with his appearance. He had on a simple white button down shirt with a Marc Jacobs vest and his black skinny jeans. The green in the vest brought out the color of his eyes. He had changed clothes a million times before he had decided on this particular outfit.

When Finn smiled at him, it made all the time and effort worth it.

"Are you hungry?" Finn asked, as they walked through the house. "I thought about ordering us some pizza."

"Actually, Finn. I'm not sure I can eat right now. I'm a little nervous," he admitted, smiling shyly.

"Me, too."

Everything felt awkward, and Kurt wished they could just get past that part.

"Want to go up to my room?" Finn asked.

"Sure, okay."

And then Finn took his hand and led him upstairs. He instantly felt better holding Finn's hand. He felt… cared for… safe.

When they reached Finn's room, Kurt just stared in surprise. The only light in the room was from the many candles spread throughout.

He was amazed. It was so beautiful.

"I remembered that you always had a candle going in your room, so I thought you would like it."

Kurt felt very emotional. Finn was trying so hard to please him.

At his silence, Finn said, "If you don't like it, I can put them out."

"No, I love it, Finn." He smiled brightly.

"Good…"

And now things were once again awkward. Kurt was thinking about what would come next.

"Go ahead and sit down," Finn said indicating the side of the bed. "I have a present for you."

"Really?" He wasn't sure if it was customary to give presents. He didn't have one for Finn.

"It's not much… just something… "

He handed Kurt a little package. It was wrapped in white tissue paper. The type of paper you would put a present in. It was tied with a pink ribbon. It resembled one of those things that were on the ends of helium balloons to weigh them down. Kurt was pretty sure it wasn't sand, though.

"Open it."

Kurt undid the bow and found candy inside. More specifically Skittles. Even more specifically… only green Skittles.

And Kurt laughed. He had to admit. _Best present ever!_

Finn sat down next to him. "I know it's stupid."

"Not at all, Finn," Kurt said. "I love it."

Impulsively, he took one of the green Skittles and held it out to Finn. Finn ate the candy out of his fingers slowly. He relished the feeling of Finn's mouth as well as the sight of him eating out of his fingers. It was very erotic, and Kurt found he was losing some of his nervousness.

"My turn," Finn said feeding a candy to Kurt. Kurt held on to his hand as he put the candy in his mouth. He savored the taste of candy mixed with Finn's skin.

Kurt realized he needed to slow things down, or it would be over much too quickly.

"I didn't get you anything."

"That's okay, Kurt."

"Do you have a pen?"

"Sure," Finn said, handing him a pen from his desk.

Kurt tore the tissue paper as best as he could and wrote on it carefully.

He handed it to Finn and the other boy smiled.

"Free coupon for a hug. Anytime. Anywhere. Any reason," Finn read and then he laughed. "I love it."

Then Finn kissed him, and Kurt's nervousness was forgotten. They had kissed for a while when Finn pulled away.

Kurt could tell something was bothering him.

"Finn? Is everything okay? Did I do something wrong?"

"It's not you, Kurt," he said. "It's Quinn."

"Oh."

"She knows about us… and she says she doesn't care."

Kurt knew that she was lying about that, but he didn't say that to Finn."

"She also says she wants to keep the baby now, and she wants us to be a family."

_Bitch!_

"How do you account for her sudden change of heart?"

"I don't know. I thought it might have something to do with me and you. But then the other day we felt the baby kick, and it was amazing. I don't know, maybe she's starting to feel motherly."

Kurt had to stop himself from saying anything derogatory about Quinn at that point. It was difficult, but he knew it wouldn't help the situation.

"How do _you _feel about it, Finn?"

"I want to be in the baby's life. I just… I'm really confused about it."

"So do you want to wait?" he said, indicating them being together.

"No. I really want to do this, Kurt."

Kurt let out the breath he didn't realize he was holding.

"I don't know if we will get another chance," Finn said. "And I've really been looking forward to this… to being with you."

Kurt didn't say anything. He couldn't; he felt out of breath. Instead, he kissed Finn sweetly. He then took off his shoes and leaned back onto the bed pulling Finn down with him.

Finn kissed him gently on the lips. He then stared at Kurt and softly touched his face. It was as if he was trying to memorize it not only with his eyes but with his touch.

"Kurt… "

"Yes?" Although kissing was nice, he thought he could spend a whole evening just staring into Finn's gorgeous brown eyes.

Finn smiled at him. "You're so… " He hesitated.

"Go on…"

"You're going to think it's stupid."

"I promise I won't."

"It's just… I think you're beautiful."

"Finn," he said breathlessly. He reached up and brought Finn's head down so that he could kiss him.

The kiss started out gentle but soon became more intense.

Kurt tried to focus on Finn but there was a voice in his head. He tried to ignore it. He didn't want to think about Quinn. Or how Finn was soon going to find out that she was lying to him and that the baby was Puck's. Once that happened Finn would surely break up with her. Did he really want to do this, now, with Finn feeling guilty and thinking about Quinn? But what if Finn was right? What if they didn't get another chance?

Finn was unbuttoning Kurt's shirt. Kurt reached up to stop him, but he didn't get very far. Finn planted small kisses along his collarbone and then he did _this thing_ with his tongue… and Kurt couldn't think anymore.

Kurt moaned in response. Finn was amazing. And at that moment, he made a decision.

Finn was here with him, and he wanted to be with Kurt. Why should they stop? That was just what Quinn wanted. She would not take this away from them.

"Kurt?"

He looked into Finn's eyes.

"You seem so far away. What are you thinking about?" He really seemed worried.

Kurt smiled at him. "I'm thinking… that you are wearing way too many clothes," he said indicating the sweater and t-shirt underneath. "These need to come off, right now."

"Bossy," the other boy said smiling. "I think I like that."

Kurt laughed as Finn stripped his shirts off. Finn had already unbuttoned Kurt's shirt completely so when they came together, it was skin to skin contact. The cool air in the room was a contrast to the heat coming off their skin. Kurt put his arms around Finn and pulled him closer. Putting Quinn out of his mind, he gave Finn his full attention.

Things really got heated then. Kurt ran his hand through Finn's hair, as he kissed him. His other hand delighted in touching Finn's strong back. He wasn't brave enough to go lower. Not yet. Finn didn't seem to have the same reservations. One hand was under Kurt's shirt stroking his back, but the other was on his hip pulling him closer. Their legs were tangled together as they tried to get as close as they possibly could. He was again thinking that there were way too many clothes on the both of them, when Finn grinded against him. Kurt could barely think, then. He could only feel. It was impossible to focus on one thing. He just felt like his whole body was alive. He didn't realize one person could feel so much.

And then something got his attention. Something hard was rubbing against his leg… and it was vibrating.

"Finn. What the hell is that?"

The other boy, obviously feeling it, too, scrambled to sit up. Kurt felt suddenly cold and bereft.

"Damn, it's my phone."

"Oh."

"God, it's Quinn. I'm not answering it." He put the offending device on the nightstand. "Sorry… now what were we doing again?" he asked with a smile. "Oh, yeah."

He pulled Kurt close to him once again. Kurt tried to ignore his nagging doubt as he kissed Finn. It felt so good in Finn's arms. He forgot about Quinn as he kissed Finn hungrily.

"Oh, Kurt," Finn moaned.

They were interrupted by a buzzing noise on the nightstand.

"Crap!" Finn once again grabbed the phone.

Kurt sat up on the side of the bed and started buttoning his shirt.

"Don't, Kurt. I'll just turn it off."

"It won't matter, Finn. If you don't answer, she will just come over here."

"Maybe, it's something simple. I'll just talk to her."

"Finn," he said taking hold of his face to get his attention. "She knows what we are doing here tonight."

"But she said it was okay."

That was the last straw for Kurt. "First of all, Finn… she may have said that to you, but she didn't mean it. Second… I really don't want us to do this because Quinn gave us permission. Don't you see how screwed up that is?"

"Kurt." His eyes were pleading.

"We need to wait, Finn. At least until things get figured out. I'm not saying we can't see each other but before I give myself to you, I want you to be mine. And if we never get the chance," he said sadly. "Then maybe it was never meant to happen."

Finn looked dejected, as Kurt stood up and straightened his clothes. Finn sat on the side of the bed watching him.

"I think I want to use my coupon, now."

Kurt looked over at him then. He smiled at the other boy.

"Save your coupon," he said. "This one is on the house."

He walked over to Finn and wrapped his arms around him. Finn was still sitting on the bed and his arms were around Kurt's waist. Kurt rested his head on Finn's shoulders. They stayed that was for a long time.

"Will you stay with me?" Finn asked.

"I don't think that would be a good idea. I better just go. That way you can go ahead and deal with your psycho girlfriend." Kurt smiled, taking the sting out of his words. He almost added… but I love you. He didn't, though.

After Finn was once again dressed, he walked Kurt to the door and kissed him goodbye.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Kurt said.

Finn nodded sadly.

As he drove home, Kurt thought about what had happened. Just for a second, he had thought about telling Finn all about Quinn, the baby, and Puck. He wasn't sure Finn would believe him. And then there were Sectionals. Why did things have to be so complicated?

"Hey, Kurt," his dad said when he walked in the door. "You're home early. Is everything okay?"

He put a smile on his face. "Yeah, everything's fine, Dad."

"Okay, just checking," his dad said, looking at him as if he didn't quite believe him.

"I love you Dad," Kurt said, giving his dad a hug.

Kurt went to his room. He pulled the bag of Skittles out of his pocket and smiled.

He was definitely disappointed about how the night ended, but he knew it was the right thing to do.

A/N: Thanks to MadMaddy1200 and LittleMissDorkFace for their suggestions. Those were great ideas!


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: Thanks again for all the reviews!

First Kiss

Chapter Nineteen

Kurt had just finished his morning ritual when he heard a knock at his door.

"Kurt?" His dad opened the door slowly. "You have a visitor."

Kurt's heart started beating faster. Was it Finn?

"It's Mercedes," his dad said. And Kurt wondered again if his dad could read his mind. That would not be a good thing.

Kurt went out to meet her. "Let's go to the mall before practice," he said. "I'll drive."

"Okay, sure."

Kurt told his dad their plans, and they were soon on their way.

"So your dad gave you your car back?"

"Yeah. I think my dad was afraid I might get stranded at Finn's, helpless without it."

She laughed. "So how did it go, last night?"

Why did he even bring it up?

"Fine."

She seemed to sense he didn't want to talk about it.

"What did you need to get at the mall?"

"Nothing, I just felt like shopping," he said, trying to act nonchalant.

She shook her head. "What's wrong, Kurt?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Shopping for no reason," she said, giving him a knowing look.

She just knew him too well.

"Mercedes, I do not need a reason to shop."

"Of course not, Kurt."

"But…"

"But we have a lot going on, right now. You are taking time out to shop… you won't talk about last night…"

He did not look at her, deciding to keep his eyes on the road.

"You tend to go shopping when you get down. Just a little something to make yourself feel better."

When he continued his silence she asked, "What happened, Kurt."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Fine," she said and then changed the subject. "I hope things go well at practice, today."

"I will say that Quinn is a bitch."

"What did she do?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

Mercedes didn't even respond this time. She just waited for him to continue.

"She told Finn that she wanted to keep the baby, and that she wanted them to be a family."

"Oh, my God! I can't believe she did that!"

"And then… she told Finn," he paused as if he still could not believe it. "She gave him _permission_ to have sex with me."

Mercedes mouth dropped open. When she recovered from the shock of his statement she asked, "So did you guys do it?"

He rolled his eyes at her choice of words.

"Almost," he said. "But Quinn kept calling him."

"I'm sorry, Kurt." She put her hand on his arm reassuringly.

"It's probably for the best, but I'm really frustrated…"

"So it was Finn's decision not to?"

"Actually," he said. "I was the one who stopped it. I wanted to wait… until after… "

Kurt didn't finish his sentence but it was understood that he meant after Quinn and Finn broke up. It was also understood that it might not happen.

Then he gave her a little smile. "Finn had put candles all over his room."

"That is so sweet," she said.

"It really was. He was trying so hard to make it special. I wonder how he's doing," Kurt said with a sigh.

"This sounds bad but I wonder how he is going to do at practice today."

"Mercedes!" He glared at her reproachfully.

"I just hate for all this torture to be for nothing," she said in way of an explanation.

They had finally arrived at the mall.

"Okay," Kurt said. "Let's go shop our sorrows away."

****

Even with all the shopping they had done, they still arrived at the school early. The parking lot was empty.

"I was thinking about what you told me, Kurt," Mercedes said as they waited for Mr. Shue to arrive and unlock the school. "And it gives me an idea." She leaned closer to him. "What if Puck found out that Quinn was keeping her baby and planned on raising her with Finn."

"He would flip. Mercedes, you are a genius," he said but it lacked enthusiasm.

"So what's the problem?"

He looked at her then. "How are we any better than Quinn, Mercedes? We are manipulating people for our own gain, especially Finn."

"Kurt, Finn wants to win Sectionals. This is for him, too."

"I doubt he would see it that way," Kurt said. "Maybe I should be the one to tell him about Quinn."

"We talked about that, Kurt. He might not believe you.'

"I really think he would. He trusts me… and I feel awful lying to him."

"You really do love him don't you?"

"Yeah," he said with a sad smile.

"Let's get through Sectionals, Kurt. Then you can tell him."

They were interrupted by the sound of a car driving up.

"Mr. Schue," Mercedes said.

Kurt wiped the tears from his eyes and put on a smile.

"Showtime."

****

There were only a few of them in the choir room since it was still early.

"I'll be right back, Mercedes."

"Are you okay, Kurt?"

"Yeah," he responded. "I just want to fix my face… and pee."

He gave her a reassuring smile as he left the room.

The halls were deserted as he made his way to the boys' bathroom. It was also empty, and Kurt was thankful for that. He walked over to the sink to repair the damage his emotional state had caused, when the door opened violently.

"Hummel!"

It was Puck. Great. Just what he needed.

He turned around and crossed his arms. He still didn't feel entirely safe alone with Puck, but he wouldn't let him know that.

"What do you want Puckerman?"

"I want to know what's going on with you and my boy, Finn," he said walking over to where Kurt was standing. He was so big compared to Kurt, and his presence seemed to fill the whole room. Kurt was not going to be intimidated, though.

"We're friends. You do remember what that is, don't you?" he asked sarcastically.

"Yeah, whatever, gay-boy. What I don't get is why?"

Kurt felt like he had been slapped. His meaning was clear. Why would anyone want to be friends with Kurt?

"Maybe you should ask Finn." Kurt was determined not to get into a fight with Puck, especially since it was one he was sure to lose. Self-preservation had gotten him a long way.

"No," Puck said. "I mean's why is everyone after Finn? What's so great about him?"

"You're jealous of Finn," Kurt said taken by surprise.

"He gets the girl. He gets the baby. He gets the sympathy. I am just so sick of everyone fawning all over him!" By the end of this speech he was yelling.

Kurt didn't say anything. He just waited for Puck to get to the end of his tirade.

"I am the father of Quinn's baby," Puck announced angrily.

"I know," Kurt, replied putting his hands on his hips. "I've known for a while." Okay that wasn't exactly the truth but Puck didn't need to know that. "I also know that Quinn was planning on giving the baby to Mrs. Schue."

It was Puck's turn to look surprised.

"I'm amazed you didn't tell your _boyfriend._"

And Kurt knew the term was used sarcastically. Puck did not know that Kurt and Finn were together. Otherwise they would be having this conversation with Kurt on the inside of a dumpster.

"I didn't tell him… and you're not going to either. He doesn't need to know…"

And looking up Kurt found he could no longer talk… or breathe. Puck turned around.

Finn was staring at them. His face was a mixture of shock, sadness, and fury.

"You were my friend!" He was talking to him, and Kurt didn't miss the use of the word 'were'.

"And you…" he looked at Puck with loathing.

"Dude…"

Finn drew his hand back, and Kurt did something he realized later was very stupid. He stepped in front of Puck.

He thought Finn might just punch him instead, but he just stood there ready.

"Move, Kurt."

"Or what? Are you going to hit me?" He knew Finn was hurting, he just wanted to help, but he didn't know how.

Finn looked at him then. There was so much pain in his eyes.

Puck pushed past them both. "I'm outta here," he said.

"Finn," Kurt whispered, trying to get through but the other boy just turned and stormed out of the bathroom, leaving Kurt all alone.

****

The mood in the choir room was tense. Finn had not returned. Kurt had told Mercedes what had happened, and she was trying to comfort him. Quinn was sobbing next to Puck, who appeared to be seething.

Mr. Schue seemed exasperated. "Where's Finn?" he asked. "Would someone mind telling me what is going on?"

"I will," Finn said from the doorway. Everyone turned to look at him in surprise. He looked terrible. His face was red, and his eyes were puffy. His hair was sticking up all over as if he had run his hand through it over and over. But what caught the eye the most was the waves of anguish that seemed to radiate from him.

"I think we've had enough lying, don't you?" he asked angrily. "Let's just get it all out."

"Finn," Quinn said, her voice pleading.

"Okay, let's start with you, then." Finn looked like he was going to cry. "Is Puck the father?"

She didn't answer. The tears streaked down her face as she looked at him in pain. Kurt almost felt sorry for her.

"Is Puck the father?" This time he yelled, and she jumped in response.

"Yes," she said softly. "But, Finn… "

"So everything was just a lie?"

"And you were stupid enough to believe it," Puck said spitefully.

He lunged at Puck, then but Mr. Schue grabbed him.

"You were my _best _friend," he yelled at the other boy.

Puck remained silent and although Kurt knew he should do the same, he couldn't. He couldn't stand to see the pain, hear the anguish. He couldn't just do nothing.

"Finn," he said stepping towards the other boy.

"And you!" All the rage was turned toward him then. "You knew all along."

"No, Finn, not… "

"Liar!" he yelled. "You're all liars." He addressed the whole room.

"Finn." Mr. Schue had let go of him but he was standing next to him in case he needed to intervene again. "I know you are upset but… "

"You don't understand, Mr. Schue." He laughed then but it was a harsh laugh. "They're lying. They are lying to you."

"Finn."

"Don't you get it?"

At his blank look, Finn continued, "What do you think Quinn planned on doing with her baby?"

"Finn, no," Quinn said then but he ignored her.

"I don't know, Finn."

"She was going to give her to your wife, Mr. Schue. To keep."

"But that doesn't make sense, Finn," he said and then you could see it was coming together in his mind… and then suddenly it did make sense.

Mr. Schue was no longer capable of calming Finn down. He now wore a similar look of pain on his face. Without a word, he left the room.

"Good job," Puck said, watching their Glee teacher leave.

Finn reached back and punched Puck in the face with everything he had. It only took one punch. Puck had been caught off guard.

"I'm done," he stated. "I'm done with all of you." And then he too stormed out the door.

A/N: I used some of the stuff from the show and added my own twist to it. Hope you enjoyed it!


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! I am glad you gus are enjoying the story. Merry Christmas everyone!

First Kiss

Chapter Twenty

Kurt was like a zombie Monday morning. He hadn't slept much at all. Mostly, he stayed in his room and listened to music. He could tell his dad was concerned, but Kurt didn't have enough energy left to worry about it.

He hadn't seen Finn much at all. He would catch a glimpse of him in the hall or in class, but Finn didn't talk to anyone. He ignored them all.

Mercedes tried to comfort Kurt. When that didn't work, she caught him up on all the gossip. Quinn had told her parents, finally. They kicked her out, and she was staying with Brittney and her family. She was refusing Puck's offer of help. Mr. Schue had left his wife and was sleeping in his office, although, he didn't think anyone else knew. Rachel had tried to comfort Finn, but he had pushed her away as well. That did make Kurt feel a little better.

Everyone seemed to be in shock, and winning Sectionals seemed to be an impossible dream.

After lunch, Kurt tried to talk to Finn. He knew it was probably useless, but he had to try. The other boy was at his locker.

"Finn," he said. "Can we talk?"

"I can't, Kurt," he replied. "Maybe someday, but right now… I just can't."

Kurt nodded his understanding as Finn grabbed his books and walked quickly away.

Glee practice was almost worthless. Finn was not there, and Mr. Schue was barely there. He seemed lost in his own thoughts and feelings, and they all just went on without him.

It didn't go very well. No one was able to focus.

That night Kurt barely touched his supper. The image of Finn's reaction when he first found out was burned in his mind.

_I thought you were my friend._

As was usual these past few days, he cried himself to sleep.

****

Puck was glad when Glee practice was finally over. They didn't get anything accomplished. Everyone was upset. And they were all upset at him. Really, shouldn't they all be mad at Quinn? She made the whole thing up. He wanted to tell the truth from the start.

Although he really liked Quinn, he felt like she was just using him. He thought back to Friday night. Quinn had called him all anxious because Finn wasn't answering his phone, and she wasn't sure where he was at. Of course, Puck hadn't seen him, and that was what he told her. She thought Finn might be at home, but she was afraid he was with someone else. Rachel, to be specific. She begged Puck to go over there for her. Why didn't she just go? He was such a sucker…

But when Puck went over to Finn's house, he was all alone. She seemed surprised when he told her, but he could also hear the satisfaction in her voice.

Puck was really tired of being her flunky.

Finn barely spoke to him when he was there. Although, he had tried to get Finn to talk about whatever was bothering him, the other boy wouldn't say anything. He just looked upset.

Then the next day he had seen Finn in the parking lot. He tried again to talk to his friend. Puck was sure something was going on, and he was fairly sure it had something to do with Quinn. Which, of course it did but Puck was still shocked by what Finn told him.

Quinn wanted to keep the baby and have a family with Finn.

Thinking back now, he wondered why Finn had been so… sad. Shouldn't he have been happy? This had been what he said he wanted. At the time though, Puck had been furious. How many times had he told Quinn that he would take care of her and the baby? She would just say she wasn't keeping it. And then she had decided she was going to raise the baby with Finn.

"Doesn't it seem strange that she's suddenly changing her mind?" he had said to Finn.

"I know. Kurt and I were just talking about that last night."

"When was that, bro? Before or after I was there?"

He could tell that Finn had realized his slip.

"Before. Kurt came over for a few minutes."

Puck had been really pissed then, but not for the reasons Finn probably thought.

It was just like Finn. Kurt obviously had a crush on him. He'd noticed that they'd been hanging out more, but really to let him come over on a Friday night… how dense could Finn be?

He was so oblivious. He probably didn't realize that Kurt even liked him.

It was so typical. Everyone practically threw themselves at Finn.

So he had been angry when he saw Kurt walking down the hall. Even though it was more about Quinn and the baby… his baby, he was also mad that everyone was so in love with Finn. It wasn't Kurt's fault. Puck didn't even care about Kurt at all.

It was just that Kurt was an easy target for his frustration…

And always had been.

So he had followed him into the boys' bathroom, unaware that Finn had followed him.

And now everyone felt sorry for Finn.

What about him? The baby was his, and Quinn wouldn't even let him help take care of her. His baby girl. She had actually planned on letting Finn help raise her. Finn! He could barely take care of himself.

Puck was glad it was out in the open. It would be hard for Quinn to raise the baby by herself. She would eventually come to him for help. She always did.

He wasn't so sure about Finn, though. He had been his best friend all through school. Surely, they could get past this… they had to.


	21. Chapter 21

A/N: Thanks again for all the reviews! I hope everyone's enjoying the holidays. I wanted to let you know that I have finished this story... there are several more chapters to go. I have also started another one that is more of a comedy so I will be posting that one soon.

First Kiss

Chapter Twenty One

Finn was tired. Tired of being angry… tired of hurting… tired of thinking. He avoided everyone. Quinn had tried to talk to him several times, but really there was no point. Any tender feelings he had for her were gone. And to think he had felt guilty about Kurt, when she had been sleeping with his best friend. Was that why she would never let him touch her? Because she was with Puck? Why had she even stayed with him then?

Puck… They had been friends forever. There was an unwritten rule… bros before hoes. Really, to sleep with your best friend's girlfriend! He couldn't even look at Puck without wanting to punch him again. His knuckle still hurt from the last time, but it was a good pain. He had done something, even if it was just punching Puck.

And everyone else in Glee knew about the whole thing. That much was obvious. Especially, Kurt.

Kurt, who knew all along. Why didn't he tell him? He remembered the other boy's words to Puck.

_I didn't tell him, and you won't either. He doesn't need to know. _

So many times Kurt could have told him. Even Friday night… but he wasn't going to think about that.

And then Kurt had come up to him and tried to talk to him. He couldn't. He was still too hurt.

Most of all, he was feeling the loss of his baby girl. He had grown to love her. He knew that was probably silly… but he couldn't help it.

All those times Quinn pushed him and pushed him, and it wasn't even his baby.

Finn felt so alone. All of his friends betrayed him. He had no one to turn to. He had told his mom of course and cried on her shoulder. That had helped some, but it wasn't enough.

Finn was lying on his bed. He wasn't even listening to music because it reminded him of Glee, and he didn't want to think about that. He didn't know if he could go back to Glee. They were going to lose Sectionals anyway.

"Finn?" His mom poked her head into his room. "There's someone here to see you."

His first thought was of Kurt. Just for a second he felt a glimmer of hope. It was hope he didn't even realize he'd had.

"She said it was important."

_Not Kurt. _

"I don't want to see Quinn, Mom," he said.

"It's not Quinn. It's Mercedes."

That got his attention.

"You can't hide forever, honey," she said, as she motioned to Mercedes and then left the room.

Finn lay back down on the bed.

"Hey Finn," Mercedes said. She walked into the room and sat down in the chair by his bed. "Boy, you look like hell."

"Gee, thanks," he replied.

"So what's the deal, Finn?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"That suits me fine, cuz I just need you to listen."

Finn looked at her in surprise.

"You have every right to be pissed at everyone. Especially that cow you called a girlfriend. But the truth is Finn, you can't do this alone. You can't ignore all your friends, people who care about you."

"Some friends."

"Were we being selfish? Yes. We wanted a chance at Sectionals. For most of us, Glee Club is the best part of the day. Sometimes it's the only bright spot in this miserable school. If we lose Sectionals, Glee Club is over. So, did we decide not to tell you so that we could win Sectionals and keep Glee Club going? You bet your ass we did."

She seemed non-apologetic and it was actually refreshing. He was tired of everyone whining about how sorry they were, when really… were they sorry?

"I can accept that from everyone… everyone but…" he paused. If they talked about Kurt, he might cry… again.

"Kurt," she said softly.

He nodded, feeling his eyes well up.

"He should have told me… as soon as he found out."

"Finn." She moved to sit on the bed. "Do you know who told Kurt that you were not the father of Quinn's baby?"

"No."

"It was you."

He gave her a confused look.

"I didn't even know."

"You had asked Kurt to be your 'first'… "

He sat up quickly then. "He told you about that?" He was really upset. Did Kurt tell everyone, and they were all laughing at him?

"Okay, you need to stop freaking out on me. He only told me because he didn't believe Quinn's hot tub story."

"It was stupid to believe it," he admitted sadly.

"Trusting and naïve…those were the words Kurt used."

Finn looked down at his hands.

"He wanted my help to find out who the father was," she continued. "We only found out about Puck, Thursday night. Kurt wanted to tell you, but I begged him not to… Sectionals."

He nodded in understanding.

"I actually wish that I hadn't found out until after Sectionals. I feel bad about disappointing everyone. But I can't go on."

"Not without help you can't."

He thought about that.

"Kurt cares about you, Finn. Everything he's done has been for you. Even waiting until after Sectionals to tell you. He only agreed because he knows how much you love Glee."

Finn started crying in earnest then. Loudly. Mercedes looked a little uncomfortable as his mom came into the room.

"Honey?" She gave Mercedes an irritated look.

"Okay, Finn. I guess I said what I needed to say."

He nodded at her.

"See you at school tomorrow." She left quickly, as his mom tried to once again comfort him.

****

Kurt sat at the piano in the choir room practicing his scales. He soon tired of that and just started playing the first song that came to his mind. He hummed along to the familiar tune until he realized what it was… _I Honestly Love You_ by Olivia Newton John.

The song he had wanted to sing to Finn. Also the song he listened to anytime he was sad and thinking about Finn. He continued playing the song but it now sounded choppy, angry. He hit the keys violently, using the music as a catharsis. He was breathing heavy as he poured his soul into the music.

"I don't think I know that song."

He stopped playing and looked up at the boy standing there.

"Finn," he said breathlessly.

"Hey Kurt."

Kurt couldn't say anything else. He just stared at him. He looked terrible, like he hadn't slept in days, which he probably hadn't.

"Do you mind?" Finn asked motioning toward the piano bench.

"No, of course," Kurt replied, moving over.

Finn sat down next to him.

"Finn," Kurt started but Finn held up his hand.

"I need to say this."

Kurt nodded, wondering what he was going to say.

"I am an idiot… " He paused to take a breath. "In so many ways. I thought you knew all along." He had tears in his eyes.

"Finn… "

"That maybe you and Quinn were actually in it together." A few tears escaped, falling down his face.

"Now that is just crazy talk," Kurt said, wanting to kiss his tears away.

"I know," Finn admitted with a laugh. "I've been a little out of my mind."

"Finn, I just guessed at the truth based on what you told me."

The taller boy nodded. "Mercedes explained it to me."

"Really?" He would have to thank her later.

"Yeah… as I said, I am an idiot. I should have seen it all along."

"I wanted to tell you but… "

"Sectionals," Finn finished for him.

Kurt nodded. Now he was crying, too.

"I don't know why you would even want to be with me, Kurt," Finn said sadly.

This was Kurt's chance to tell him how he felt about him. But he couldn't. Not yet.

"I have a list, if you want to see it," Kurt said. "I'm up to 304… Reasons to be with Finn."

Finn actually laughed then.

"I missed you, Kurt."

"I missed you, too, Finn."

And then Finn pressed something into his hand. Looking at it, Kurt realized it was the coupon he had given him for the free hug.

"Finn." He was laughing and crying at the same time as he stood up and pulled Finn up with him. He put his arms around him and held him as tightly as he could.

Finn was really crying now as he held him. Once he caught his breath, he whispered to Kurt, "I can't do this on my own, Kurt. I need you."

Finn put his hands on Kurt's face and pulled him into a kiss. It was sweet and gentle, and he could taste the salt from their tears. There was also an urgency to the kiss. It was on the edge, but he was able to hold it at bay. Kurt knew that if they let it… it would consume them.

"Oh, my gosh. I'm sorry."

They pulled away to see Ms. Pillsbury standing there, her face as red as her hair.

"Don't mind me," she said nervously. "I'm just looking for Will… I mean Mr. Schuester."

"I think he is in his office," Kurt answered, still in Finn's arms.

They held on to each other as if they were afraid of letting go.

"Um, thanks," she said, hurrying away.

Finn laughed. "You know, Kurt," he said, looking into Kurt's eyes. "It is amazing how much better I feel when I'm with you."

The bell rang then and they knew they had to part. Finn kissed him one more time.

"Can you come over tonight?"

Kurt nodded. He might have to be creative, though. His dad was not happy with Finn at the moment. He had guessed that the other boy was the reason for Kurt's depressed mood.


	22. Chapter 22

A/N: Thanks again for all the reviews!

First Kiss

Chapter Twenty Two

It was later that evening and Finn was lying with Kurt on his bed. He felt better than he had for a while. He knew Kurt cared about him, and that he would never intentionally hurt him.

"Finn?" Kurt said softly.

"Yeah?" He was on his side just staring at the other boy. Kurt was probably getting tired of it.

"I wanted to ask you about something that Quinn had said to me."

He stiffened at the sound of her name. He was still upset about the whole thing. Kurt must have noticed his reaction.

"Never mind, Finn. It's not important."

"No, it's okay, Kurt. What did you want to ask me?"

"Well… it's just something Quinn said."

"What was it?"

"She said you told her about my mom dying."

Finn was confused for a second. He didn't remember talking to Quinn about Kurt's mom. That was stuff Kurt had told him, and he would never share it with Quinn. Then he remembered…

"It was before we were together," he explained. "We were in Spanish class, and you came in dressed… well _Kurtish_," he said with a smile. "And Quinn said that she couldn't believe your mother let you go out of the house dressed like that. So I told her that your mom had died when you were young. I think Mercedes had told me that. And then she said…" Finn paused, not wanting to continue.

He noticed that the worry in Kurt's face cleared. Finn felt angry that Quinn had put it there in the first place.

"What?"

"I really can't remember what she said then."

"You are not going to hurt my feelings, Finn. I could care less what Quinn thinks of me. It's just, I'm curious now."

"She said… 'That explains a lot.'" Then he said quietly. "I can't believe some of the things she has said and done, Kurt. She really had me fooled."

"She had everyone fooled, Finn."

Finn thought about everything she had said to him. All about the baby, and how they were going to be a family. Finn felt like crying again, but he didn't.

"Finn?" Kurt asked concerned.

"I loved her so much, Kurt."

"You and Quinn were together for a while."

Finn looked at him in surprise. "Not Quinn, the baby. I thought she was mine. I loved her like she was mine. Now I'm supposed to just forget about her? I don't know how to do that."

Kurt nodded. Finn could tell he really didn't know what so say, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was that Kurt was there with him.

"It's my turn to ask a question, Kurt."

Finn actually had so much he wanted to ask Kurt. Questions about them, like what they were going to do now? But he couldn't. He didn't know what he wanted, so it wasn't really fair to ask Kurt.

"Okay, what is your question?"

So basically, Finn chickened out.

"How did you get to be such a good kisser?"

Kurt laughed. "I think you had something to do with that."

"No, I mean even before… when we first got together. You were already really good at it."

"Practice," Kurt said, smiling.

"Really?" Finn asked with a gleam in his eye. "Show me." The thought of Kurt practicing kissing was kind of hot.

"No. I'm not going to. Let's just forget about it." He could tell Kurt regretted even mentioning it, but he wasn't going to let it go.

"No way, Kurt," he said with a smile. "I can't get it out of my mind now. Just tell me about it, then."

"No, Finn. It's embarrassing."

"It's just me, Kurt," he said coaxingly. "And I want to know."

Kurt sighed in resignation. "I would practice on the inside crook of my elbow," he said quietly, his face turning red.

"Here?" Finn asked touching the sensitive area softly with his fingertips.

When Kurt didn't answer, he looked at his face. He was just staring at Finn, his cheeks flushed. He nodded then and Finn said, "You know, I think Ineed some practice."

Finn leaned over Kurt and softly kissed the area he had been touching. He could feel the other boy's heart beating wildly. He then made tiny swirls on his skin with his tongue, before kissing it once again.

Kurt was obviously enjoying their practice. He was making sounds that were getting Finn more aroused by the second. Finn then kissed his way slowly up Kurt's arm to the inside of his wrist. Obviously, another sensitive spot.

Kurt had been watching his progress but now had his eyes closed as he seemed to let the sensations take over. Finn kissed the palm of his hand gently, and then turned his hand over and licked the sensitive skin between his fingers.

Kurt moaned in response, but Finn was not done. He started on the other arm, giving it the same treatment. He was really enjoying watching the emotions play out on Kurt's expressive face.

Interlocking their fingers, he stretched Kurt's arms over his head.

Kurt opened his eyes as Finn rested himself on top of him.

He kissed the other boy hungrily, and he could tell that Kurt was barely holding on.

Finn came up for air, trying to get control of his body. The clock on his wall caught his attention.

"Kurt, we have to stop."

"What? No."

"I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. My mom will be home at any minute."

Finn released his hands, but he didn't move off of Kurt. It felt too good.

"Finn. What the hell?"

He could tell that Kurt was angry.

"How could you do that? Get me in such a state when we couldn't do anything?"

"I'm sorry, Kurt," he said. "I just lose my head when I'm with you." He kissed him again.

There was a knock at the door followed by a tentative voice.

"Finn?"

The boys pulled apart quickly and sat up on the bed.

"Yeah, Mom?" Finn said as his mom opened the door.

"Oh, hi Kurt."

"Hi, Ms. Hudson."

"I just wanted to see how you were doing," she said to Finn. "Do you boys want a snack or anything?"

"No, we're fine, Mom," he said, smiling nervously at her.

"Okay," she said. "Is there any reason this door is closed?"

They looked at each other.

"I closed it. Sorry," Kurt said. "It's just a habit. My dad doesn't like my music."

She nodded accepting this reason.

"Okay, just let me know if you want anything," she said to them. Then she left, keeping the door open.

Finn looked over at Kurt who was trying not to laugh or cry... he was not sure which.

"I guess we could have told her we needed quiet. I usually just say I'm studying… " Finn said.

For some reason this cracked Kurt up and he started giggling.

Finn couldn't help but laugh, too.

"I need to go anyway," Kurt said, "before my dad comes looking for me."

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow." Finn gave him a quick kiss, looking to make sure his mom wasn't around.

After Kurt left, Finn stared up at his ceiling, thinking about the other boy.

His mom had almost caught them. But so what? If they were going to be together shouldn't she know? Shouldn't everyone know? He didn't want to hide anymore.

There was one thing holding him back, though. He cared about Kurt a lot and right now he wanted to be with him.

But what about girls? He had always liked girls.

He couldn't stand the thought of hurting Kurt. He wanted to commit to their relationship… but he just wasn't sure…

He decided he needed help figuring things out.

He needed some guidance.


	23. Chapter 23

A/N: Thanks again for all the reviews! You guys did say you wanted angst, right?

First Kiss

Chapter Twenty Three

The next morning, Finn got to school early. He had something he needed to take care of as soon as possible.

"Ms. Pillsbury?"

The guidance counselor looked up at him in surprise.

"Finn, hi. Come on in."

She seemed flustered, and he wondered if she was thinking about yesterday.

"Um… how can I help you, Finn?"

"I need some advice, and you're actually the only one who knows that Kurt and I are together.

"Oh, well… let me see…" She turned around to look at her pamphlets. "We have a few brochures… "

She picked some out and handed them to Finn.

_ I'm Different, and Proud of It_

_ Mom...Dad...I have something to tell you: How to Talk to Your Parents _

_ Teen Sexuality-It's Okay to be Gay_

"Um, thanks, but I think I just need someone to talk to."

"Go on," she said, encouraging him to continue.

"I like Kurt a lot."

"I did notice that," she said.

"Well, the thing is I know we shouldn't hide from everyone. That's not fair to Kurt. But I'm worried about telling everyone."

"Because you might get picked on?"

He hadn't actually thought about that. She was right though. He would get tortured, just like Kurt.

"Actually, I'm worried about whether I'm ready for it. I mean what if I still like girls. I can't hurt Kurt like that…"

"Listen to me, Finn. This is something I know about. You need to be sure about your feelings. You can't just use someone for your own selfish needs. You have to be sure you want to only be with Kurt before you make that kind of commitment. It's not fair to just be with someone because the person you want is not available."

He gave her a confused look. What was she talking about?

"The point is… if you're unsure, you could end up breaking his heart." She had tears in her eyes at this point, and Finn was kind of freaked out. She must really care about kids.

"Are you listening to me, Finn?"

He nodded.

"You need to do anything you can to figure this out. You need to be sure. Understand?"

"Yeah. Um, thanks, Ms. P."

She nodded, and he left her office as quick as he could. She was crazy, but she was also right. He needed to find out for sure…

The sooner the better.

****

Kurt was confused about everything. At times he was ecstatic. He and Finn were back together, and Quinn was history. Last night was wonderful. At other times, he was frustrated. Really, what had changed? They were still meeting in secret. No one knew about them, and Finn didn't seem to want to change that. Kurt wanted to tell Finn how much he loved him, but something was holding him back. What if Finn didn't feel the same way? Kurt had known he was gay for a long time. This was all new to Finn. He was afraid to even bring it up to the other boy. One thing was certain… at some point Finn would have to decide what he wanted. Kurt was not willing to hide forever.

He decided to go to the auditorium. Sometimes he liked to just sit in the seats and stare up at the stage. It was so quiet and peaceful. At other times, he would sing to an empty room. It helped him focus…

Unfortunately, the auditorium was already in use. He almost left when he realized it was Finn and Rachel on the stage. They were practicing. Finn probably asked her to help him, since he had missed several Glee practices. Of course, he could have asked Kurt.

He decided to sit and watch them. They didn't notice him, and he was able to watch Finn undisturbed. Finn was singing, and it was beautiful. He loved watching Finn…

"That was really good, Finn," Rachel said, smiling at him. It was at times like these that Kurt really wanted to hurt Rachel. Not that he could blame her. In her mind, Finn was now single. Quinn was out of the way, and she didn't know anything about Kurt. Still, he had an urge to scratch the smile off her face.

Of course, he knew better than anyone how hard it was to resist Finn's smile. And Finn was smiling at her now.

"Thanks, Rach," he said. Then he leaned closer to her and said, so soft that Kurt almost missed it, "Can I kiss you?"

"Yes," she said enthusiastically. Finn placed his hand on her cheek and kissed her.

Kurt felt like he had been punched in the stomach. He wanted to scream… to cry… to run as far away as he could. He did none of those things. He was done crying over Finn, and he was done running. He made his way toward them. They were still kissing, and when he got to the edge of the stage, he started clapping. The sound resonated in the empty auditorium.

They broke apart at the noise and looked at Kurt in surprise.

"Very good," Kurt said calmly. "Amazing, really, Finn. You are such a good performer."

And then he turned and walked out of the auditorium. He could hear Finn yelling his name, once he got over his shock, but Kurt was already walking out the door.

He wandered outside. He didn't really want to see or talk to anyone. He didn't cry. He felt like he was in shock, but he also felt strong. This is what needed to happen. He was a fool to think Finn would give up girls for him. Sure he enjoyed being with Kurt, but that was all there was to it.

Kurt stopped and looked around him. He had been walking and not paying attention to where he was going. Now he was disoriented. He realized he was by the bleachers on the football field. There was not a soul around.

"Kurt." Finn ran up to him, out of breath.

"What do you want, Finn?"

The other boy looked at him in surprise. Kurt wasn't sure if it was because Finn expected him to be a blubbering mess or because of the ice in his voice.

"Kurt. Please… I can explain."

"Really," he said skeptically.

"I'm just trying to figure things out… I'm looking for answers."

"And you thought you could find them in Rachel Berry's mouth?" Kurt gave him an icy glare.

"Yes… I mean, no. I just don't understand why you are so mad, Kurt."

"I guess that's part of the problem, then. Isn't it?" Kurt crossed his arms across his chest, putting yet another barrier between them.

"You were the one who told me to experiment… to figure out what I wanted. Remember the Skittles?"

The Skittles thing was special to them and their relationship. And now he was using it as an excuse to kiss Rachel? That would have hurt… if Kurt hadn't already built a wall around his wounded heart. He was not going to let Finn hurt him anymore.

"It's not like I was kissing another guy."

"So that makes it alright?" Kurt said bitterly.

"You seem so far away, Kurt. I don't understand. Even when I kissed Quinn, you weren't like this. Why are you so mad at me now?"

"Because Finn," he said, looking the other boy in the eyes. "I am hopelessly in love with you. Hopelessly being the key word here. The irony is that I used to think I was in love with you but I wasn't. I thought love was sweet, romantic… hearts and flowers. But it's not. Love is painful, torturous… heart wrenching. It feels like someone is tearing your guts out. That is love, and I can honestly say that right now, I wish I didn't love you."

"I don't know what to say, Kurt."

"Then let me help you, Finn. I was always the articulate one anyway… " he said coldly.

"I don't know what that means," Finn mumbled.

"I am done, Finn. We are done. You can kiss whomever you like. You can do whatever you want. From this point on, we are no longer together. I don't want anything to do with you."

"Kurt, please don't do this." Finn looked like he was going to cry, but Kurt didn't care.

"You don't get it, Finn," he said. "I deserve someone who knows what they want. Someone who won't expect me to share them. Someone who will love me in return. Someone… other than you."

Finn didn't say anything then. He just gave Kurt that hurt puppy dog look, but Kurt was immune. At that point he felt nothing. There was something about the vision of Finn kissing Rachel Berry that had frozen his heart and made him strong.

"Goodbye, Finn."

Kurt walked away, leaving Finn all alone.

Thanks to BlueSpottedDog for reminding me that we needed brochures from Ms. Pillsbury :)


	24. Chapter 24

A/N: Thanks again for all the reviews! And yet more angst. Also...I fixed my contraction issues. Any left were intentional. :)

First Kiss

Chapter Twenty Four

Throughout the day, Finn tried to talk to Kurt. He wanted to explain everything to him, but the other boy wouldn't listen. He would just hold up his and and say, "It's over." The thing that really got to Finn was that Kurt was so calm about the whole thing. It was almost as if he didn't care about Finn at all.

But hadn't Kurt just told him, that he loved him? If you love someone shouldn't you give them a chance?

Finn had even looked up the word irony. He wanted to understand what Kurt had been talking about. He hated it when he didn't understand.

So he'd learned what irony meant. And he understood it completely.

Irony was the fact that Finn had kissed Rachel just to see if he had any feelings at all for girls in general and Rachel in particular.

Irony was the fact that he'd felt nothing for Rachel. Nothing at all. And he had kept kissing her… just to be sure. _Nothing._

And now that he knew… _he knew_ for sure that Kurt was the _only_ one he wanted, Kurt didn't want anything to do with him.

That was irony.

So he gave up trying to talk to Kurt. At least for now. Maybe Kurt just needed some time to think. Surely he didn't mean what he said about them not being together.

_I don't want anything to do with you. _

Kurt's words came back to him as he tried to sleep that night. Was it really only yesterday that Kurt was here in his bed… lying next to him, smiling at him, kissing him.

And now he wouldn't even talk to him.

****

On the outside Kurt was calm. Finn had tried many times to talk to him, and he just reminded the other boy that it was over. They were over. Finn eventually gave up. Kurt was glad because it was getting harder and harder each time.

He was reminded of a time many years ago, when he'd cut his finger while helping his dad. It was a deep cut, and at first he had felt nothing. His body had gone into shock, protecting him from the pain. But later, when the shock had worn off, the pain was excruciating.

And so the pain was there waiting for him. When he was at home, trying to sleep… and he had nothing to distract him, it was there. It was a searing pain that made it hard to breath. It made every part of his body and mind ache.

They were done. He would never be with Finn again. Never hold him, kiss him, laugh with him.

And yet, there was a small part of him that wanted to give Finn another chance… maybe he could explain.

But Kurt was able to squash those thoughts. How could he ever trust Finn again? How could he know that Finn didn't want to be with a girl? How could he know that Finn wanted only him? In fact, he didn't think that Finn loved him at all. If he had he would never have kissed Rachel.

He wished he could turn it all off. His mind… his heart. He didn't want to think or to feel. He just wanted to sleep.

****

Finn didn't sleep well at all. He was tired and grumpy the next day. The first person to feel the brunt of his frustration was Rachel. It wasn't like he was intentionally mean to her. It was just that she wouldn't leave him alone.

"Finn," she said, smiling at him.

"Hi, Rachel," he replied, noticing that Kurt was only several feet away. "I can't talk right now. I have class."

"I think we should talk about what happened yesterday. Don't you?"

"Not really."

She followed him as he walked to his next class.

He knew he shouldn't be mad at her. He was the one that kissed her. She was just an innocent bystander. But she wouldn't leave him alone, and he didn't want Kurt to see them talking. But most of all, he was so consumed by the pain of losing Kurt, that he didn't have any room for this… or any patience for her feelings.

"But Finn…"

"Look, Rachel," he said, stopping in his tracks to turn and face her. "It was a mistake okay? It didn't mean anything. I am sorry. I don't want to hurt you, but you need to just back off."

She gave him a hurt look and ran away.

Crap!

He didn't go after her, though. He went on to class. By lunch time, he had snapped at Mercedes, Artie, and Tina. What was wrong with him?

He was just so angry. Angry at himself for screwing up once again. Angry at Ms. Pillsbury for giving him bad advice. After all, she was a guidance counselor. Shouldn't she know what she was talking about? Although, she didn't actually tell him to _kiss_ Rachel. And he was mad at every teacher he had, for interrupting his self-loathing, with actual class work.

At lunch, he sat with the other Glee kids. He was going to sit by himself, but thought that having some company might help him get over his bad mood. However, as soon as he sat down, Kurt got up. It was obvious that he wasn't finished, and Finn knew he was leaving because of him.

That was when he realized that he was _really_ mad at Kurt. The other boy wouldn't even give them a chance. Everything Finn had done had been for Kurt, for them.

When school was over and it was time for Glee practice, he almost skipped it. But the more he thought about it, the more he decided he needed to go. He had just as much right to be there as anyone. No one was going to keep him from Glee Club. Not even Kurt.

****

Kurt went reluctantly to Glee practice. He didn't feel like singing, and that in itself was unusual. He really didn't want to see Finn. It just hurt too much. Of course, the other boy would probably just skip it again. Kurt wasn't even sure they had a chance at Sectionals. He also wasn't sure he cared anymore.

He sat next to Mercedes. He had not, could not tell her about Finn. She knew something was wrong, but so far she had respected his wish not to talk about it.

Everyone seemed to be already stressed when Finn arrived. It was obvious he was in a foul mood. Of course, he had already heard from his friends that Finn had been snapping at everyone. In a way, it made Kurt feel better. After all, shouldn't Finn feel some pain, too? He'd been the one to put his lips where they didn't belong. Kurt was determined not to feel sorry for him.

The tension in the room was almost palpable, as Mr. Schue started practice.

And so the inevitable happened:

Finn messed up the steps… again.

Finn and Puck got into a pushing match… again.

Mr. Schue broke them apart… again.

Quinn cried…yet again.

"Dude? Why are you even here?" Puck finally said what everyone else had been thinking. "You obviously don't want to be."

Finn just gave him an angry glare.

"In fact," Puck continued. "We would do better with that dweeb, Jacob, instead of you."

"Screw you, Puck!" Finn yelled in response. "Everyone would've done better if you'd just kept your hands to yourself in the first place."

"It takes two…"

"Boys, stop," Quinn said trying to keep them apart. "Finn, please…" She gave him a pleading look.

Kurt watched intently to see how he would react to the other girl. Finn just looked ready to cry. It reminded Kurt that it was only a few days ago that Finn had found out about Puck and Quinn… and the baby.

"You two deserve each other!" he said angrily.

"Finn," she said trying again. Kurt didn't know why she was pushing the other boy. It wasn't going to work.

"Stay away from me. All of you!" He addressed them all.

Mr. Schue didn't seem to know what to do, and Kurt wondered at his emotional state. Against his better judgment, Kurt stepped forward. He couldn't stand to see Finn hurting so much and, he told himself, it was for the good of the club.

"Finn," he said quietly. "You need to calm down."

Finn turned all his frustration on him now. Kurt was expecting it and actually thought he could handle anything Finn could throw at him. He was wrong.

"Oh, so now you're talking to me, Kurt?" Finn was angrier than Kurt had ever seen him. "All the times I've tried to get you to listen to me? Now you want to talk?"

Kurt held his ground as Finn yelled at him.

"Well, I'm tired of it. Tired of everything! So _you_ need to stay away from me, most of all, Kurt. Because I'm tired of you following me around like some love sick puppy… "

Kurt could tell he had more to say, but the look of pain on Kurt's face and the gasp of surprise from the rest of the group at Finn's attack, must have stopped him.

"Screw this!" he yelled, kicking a helpless chair on his way out the door.

The room was completely quiet then as everyone was in shock. Then they erupted into angry chatter as they discussed Finn's outburst.

Mercedes tried to help Kurt, but he held up his hand to stop her. He needed to be alone with his thoughts.

Kurt realized then that he _had_ actually had some hope that he and Finn could work things out. The reason he knew that was because he now realized that hope was gone. It wasn't just that Finn had lashed out at him. It wasn't just that Finn had humiliated him in front of the whole Glee Club. After all they believed it. They didn't know that Finn had reciprocated Kurt's feelings. The way they saw it, Kurt _had been_ following Finn around like a love sick puppy. It wasn't just that Quinn… _Quinn _was looking at him with pity. Or that Rachel was looking at him with satisfaction.

Rather, it was a combination of everything. Everything that had happened since that first kiss. His life had been a roller coaster but through it all, he felt like he and Finn could be together. Now he knew that it wasn't going to happen. He and Finn were finished.

This wasn't something they could recover from.

They were officially through.


	25. Chapter 25

A/N: Thanks to everyone for all the great reviews. I know this has gotten angsty but I swear it will lighten up some... not really that much this chapter but soon. :) I will also let you know when it is over so don't worry!

First Kiss

Chapter Twenty Five

Finn fell back on his bed letting the music of REO Speedwagon wash over him. At times he would sing loudly to the words. At other times, he would lay quietly letting the tears fall down his face. When it got too messy, he used his sleeve to wipe off his face. He just didn't care anymore.

School had been a blur today. It hadn't been hard to keep to himself. Everyone was mad at him, and they all avoided him. He didn't blame them. At this point, even he hated himself.

As the song started up once again, he sang along to the words… words that reminded him of Kurt.

_I can't fight this feeling any longer. _

_And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow. _

_What started out as friendship has grown stronger, _

_I only wish I had the strength to let it show. _

He didn't know what to do about Kurt. He just knew he was miserable.

_And even as I wander I'm keeping you in sight. _

_You're a candle in the window in a cold dark winter's night. _

_And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might. _

All this time he had been trying to deny how he felt about Kurt. He hadn't wanted to believe he could care so much about another guy. That he could want to be with another guy. And now the pain of being without Kurt made all his earlier doubts seem… stupid.

_And I can't fight this feeling anymore… _

_I've forgotten what I started fighting for. _

_It's time to bring this ship into the shore _

_and throw away the oars, _

_Baby I can't fight this feeling anymore._

He missed Kurt so much. Why had he ruined everything? First by kissing Rachel and then by yelling at him.

_My life has been a whirlwind since I saw you. _

_I've been running round in circles in my mind. _

_And it always seems I'm following you boy _

_cuz you take me to the places that alone I'd never find. _

He closed his eyes. He could still see Kurt's face as it was yesterday in Glee practice, when he had embarrassed him. He probably hated him, too.

_And even as I wander I'm keeping you in sight. _

_You're a candle in the window in a cold dark winter's night. _

_And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might. _

The soft click barely registered, but then the quietness of the room caught his attention.

He opened his eyes to see his mom standing over him.

"Finn? Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, Mom," he said unconvincingly, as he sat up on the bed.

"Really? Because you have been playing this same song for over an hour, and honestly, I can't take it anymore."

"Sorry, Mom."

She sat down on the bed with him.

"Honey, it might help to talk about it."

"I don't think it will," he said sadly.

"Is it Quinn and the baby? I know she hurt you, but…"

"It's not about Quinn or the baby, Mom."

"Oh," she replied.

The room grew quiet for awhile.

"Is it Kurt?"

Finn looked at her in surprise.

"It's obvious that the boy is crazy about you, Finn. I could see that any time he was here. I just didn't think you were interested in him… in that way."

Finn didn't say anything.

"Obviously, I was wrong."

"Do you think that's okay? That I like Kurt… you're not disappointed in me, are you?"

She hugged him then. "Of course not, honey. I just want you to be happy, and if Kurt makes you happy then that is what's important."

"I think he hates me right now. I wasn't very nice to him."

"We all do stupid things, Finn. If he really cares about you… I think he'll forgive you."

"I don't know. He won't even talk to me."

"Just remember, Finn. Words are just words. It's our actions that have the most impact."

"I'm not sure I understand what you mean."

"You have to show him, Finn. Instead of trying to tell him, show Kurt how you feel."

****

Burt Hummel watched his son pick at his food. Usually, Kurt was the cook of the house, but tonight Burt had made dinner. Kurt didn't seem up to it. He was sure his lousy cooking wasn't what had Kurt picking at his food. He hadn't eaten much for the last two days. In fact this whole week had been strange. Kurt would be depressed one day and happy as could be the next. He was sure it had something to do with a boy. Something to do with that football player… what was his name? Finn something.

"Do you want me to make you something else, Kurt?"

"No, Dad. This is fine. I'm just not hungry."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Kurt shrugged his shoulders.

"Is it a boy? Is it that Finn kid?"

Kurt nodded his head as the tears started to fall. Burt really hated to see him cry. He wasn't good at tears.

"I thought he cared about me," Kurt said in a quiet voice. "But I was wrong."

"You really like him, don't you?"

"Yes," he said. "But I caught him kissing someone else… a girl. And so I told him I didn't want to see him anymore."

"Good for you, Kurt," he said but at his son's look, he amended his response. "I mean… you did the right thing."

Kurt smiled. It was a sad smile but it was still a smile.

"I know. It just hurts. It was only two days ago that we got back together, and I was so happy. It's so hard to love someone and then suddenly not to have them anymore."

Burt looked down at his plate. "I know," he said sadly.

"Oh Dad, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Kurt. I loved your mother. I still love her. And after ten years, it's still hard not having her around."

"Yeah."

"So, even though I can't believe I am saying this… if you really love this boy, and he loves you, then you need to find some way to make it work. People get confused, and they do stupid things, Kurt. Don't let that get in your way."

"But what if he doesn't love me, back? What if he can't give up girls?"

"Then you need to move on and forget about him."

Kurt nodded his head once again.

"I know that's hard, Kurt, but…"

"I deserve better," Kurt finished for him.

"Yes, you do."

Burt thought he might break down and cry at any moment, so he stood up and started clearing the table.

"I got this, Dad," Kurt said, standing up.

"No, Kurt. I'll clean up. Why don't you take a bath or listen to music or something?"

"Thanks, Dad," Kurt said, giving him a quick hug before he went to his room.

Later that night Kurt came into his room with his blanket and pillow. Burt knew that he wanted to sleep on the floor next to his mother's old dresser. He tucked Kurt's blanket around him, just like he did when he was little, and then he opened all the drawers so the scent could spread throughout the room.

Sometimes a boy just needed his mother.


	26. Chapter 26

A/N: I really appreciate all the reviews and comments! Just a note... in my story the whole mattress thing did not happen. Also, Sue did not leak the set list. I figured my story had enough drama in it already. :)

First Kiss

Chapter Twenty Six

Kurt was sitting in a chair, holding his head in his hand. They were at Sectionals, and it was an absolute disaster. They were going last. Rachel had diva'd out. Artie had rammed his wheelchair into the wall over and over. And Finn had not shown up.

Not that it surprised anyone. He hadn't been at the emergency practice Friday night, either. They had done okay, but without Finn they were not good enough to win. All the work they had put into this all semester long, and now they were going to lose… and Glee Club would be over.

Even after everything that had happened (and he would _not_ think about that!), he had still held out hope that Finn would show up… not for him, but for Glee Club.

They were waiting in the green room for their turn. Soon, it would be time for them to get ready. They had watched some of the other schools' performances. Although, they were good, they weren't as good as McKinley… well, McKinley with Finn.

"Okay, guys," Mr. Schue said. "Are you ready to win this thing?"

Kurt didn't even acknowledge his teacher. He was still sulking. The rest of the group mumbled their assent, but it lacked enthusiasm.

"I know, I am."

They all looked over at the door. Finn was standing there, and he was actually smiling.

Kurt just about fell out of his chair.

His traitorous heart started beating faster at the sight of the other boy, and he couldn't take his eyes off of him.

"Finn," Mr. Schue said with relief. "We are so glad to see you. Jacob, we won't need you after all."

The other boy seemed relieved as he rushed out of the room before the teacher could change his mind.

"Are you ready, Finn?"

"Yeah, Mr. Schue. I'm ready." So far Finn had not even looked at him.

As glad as everyone was to see Finn, they weren't all ready to forgive him.

"You better be, dude," Puck said. "Cuz my feet are sore from you always stepping on them."

Finn gave him a dirty look.

"Yeah, Finn," Mercedes said. "We don't need you screwing this up." She was not usually this harsh, but Kurt knew she was still pissed about the things Finn had said to him.

Everyone looked at Finn then. They were worried he was going to blow up once again. He did seem to have a short fuse lately.

Kurt held his breath. The last thing they needed was for Finn to leave.

"Actually, I have an announcement to make to everyone."

When they all got quiet, he continued, "I know I've been a mess this last week or so."

"Or longer," Puck said.

"Or longer," Finn agreed. "I just want you all to know that I'm done with that. I'm back in the game and ready to focus. I'm ready to move on, so that we can win Sectionals. I had made this all about me, and it's not. It's about Glee Club, and about us being a team."

Everyone cheered at his words. Everyone but Kurt. He was happy that Finn was back and wanting to be a part of Glee Club again, but he was upset that Finn had moved on. He had hoped that they could work something out. His talk with his dad had really got him thinking.

Rachel went up to Finn. "Welcome back, Finn," she said, with a smile.

As Finn smiled back at her, Kurt realized something. Finn seemed to be at peace. Whatever decision he had made, he was happy about it. He really had moved on. And it was easy to believe that it had something to do with Rachel.

Kurt held up his head. His dad's words from last night came back to him. If Finn had moved on, then Kurt would just have to move on as well.

It seemed someone else was still not happy.

"That was your big announcement, dude?" Puck said. "That you're ready to be a part of the club again. I thought it was going to be something important…"

Finn glared at Puck. Mr. Schue stepped forward, ready to break them apart if necessary.

_Boys and their drama! _

"I thought," Puck continued with a smirk, "you were going to announce that you're in love with Kurt."

Kurt rolled his eyes. This was an old joke of Puck's, and he was really getting tired of it.

"Okay, everyone, that's enough. Let's start getting ready," Mr. Schue said, but Finn just ignored the teacher.

"No, Puck," he said, and Kurt felt crushed, once again. Finn usually just ignored Puck's homophobic ramblings. But for some reason, this time he chose to answer him. "Obviously that wasn't my announcement. But since you brought it up… yes, I am."

"You're what?" Puck asked, confused. It was all just a joke to him… and rhetorical.

"I'm in love with Kurt."

The room fell completely silent.

Kurt could not believe he heard right. Did Finn just say he was in love with him?

Everyone, including Mr. Schue, looked at Finn in surprise.

But Finn was watching Kurt. "And I'm completely lost without him," he continued.

And then they all looked at Kurt. His was still in shock, and he had to remind himself to breathe.

"Finn," he said softly.

"So you're a homo now?" And all eyes turned to Puck once again.

"That's enough, Puck," Mr. Schue said.

"Well, Finn?" Puck continued, ignoring the teacher.

Finn looked about to explode as he glared at Puck. He didn't, though. He just turned and walked out of the room.

Everyone watched as Puck followed him out. Kurt stared after them, not sure what to do.

"Kurt."

He looked over at Mercedes. She was moving her head, motioning for him to go after them. He decided she was right. Finn had just poured his heart out in front of the whole Glee club. He might need some support right now. And he wanted a chance to talk to him.

Kurt hurried out of the room as Mr. Schue threw up his hands in defeat.

****

"You didn't answer my question, Finn," Puck said. "Are you a homo, now?"

They were in the boy's bathroom when Kurt caught up to them. He decided to stay out of sight.

"I honestly don't know, Puck," he answered. "All I know is that Kurt makes me happy."

"We've been friends forever, dude. At least until you started hanging out with that queer. What's that about?"

Although Kurt couldn't see his face, he could hear the anger in Finn's voice as he replied.

"We stopped being friends when you slept with my girlfriend and got her pregnant, _dude_."

"Things happen, Finn. I thought we could get past that."

The anger seemed to go out of him then. "I don't know if we can, Puck," he said, sounding resigned.

"Come on, Finn. Don't forget, you're my boy."

Kurt had to step forward then. "Past tense, Noah," he said. "He _was_ your boy. I believe that he is my boy now." Kurt gave him a smug look.

Puck looked at them both. "Whatever," he said angrily, before leaving them alone in the bathroom.

"I probably should have told you how I felt before announcing it to the whole Glee Club… and Mr. Schue," he smiled shyly. "Kurt, I know I've been acting crazy..."

"Finn," Kurt said, walking up to him. "Shut up and kiss me."

Finn smiled as he pulled Kurt into his arms and thoroughly kissed him.

They finally pulled apart.

"Kurt, I'm so sorry," Finn said. "I was terrible to you."

"It's okay, Finn," he said, his hands still resting on Finn's chest. "Although at some point we will be having a conversation about your behavior… and you _will_ be making it up to me."

Finn smiled at him. "I love you, Kurt… you are the only one I want."

"I love you too, Finn," he said, kissing him once more. Kurt couldn't believe how happy he was at that moment. There was only one other thing he wanted…

Finn protested as Kurt ended their kiss.

"Right now, we have a show to do. Are you ready, Finn?" he asked.

The other boy nodded.

"Then let's go win this thing."

And holding hands, Kurt and Finn walked back into the green room, where they were greeted by cheers from rest of the Glee Club.

The End

A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this. My beta sevfank has convinced me that I absolutely cannot end it this way. So I have written an epilogue with plenty of fluff. I am also considering writing a one shot about how Finn makes it up to Kurt. Any ideas?


	27. Epilogue

A/N: This is it, loyal fans. The last and final chapter of my story. Okay, getting a little teary-eyed here. I am working on several other Glee stories, but this will always be my favorite. (Just don't tell my other stories.) I usually only show one POV at a time but on this chapter I go back and forth a little because I want you to know what both boys are thinking and going through. I hope it is not too confusing. Thanks for all the love and support!

First Kiss

Epilogue

"Okay, last one… I swear," Kurt said, twirling slowly.

"It looks great," Finn said with a smile.

Kurt looked at him suspiciously. They were in Finn's living room, and Kurt was modeling the clothes he had just bought.

"I don't believe you. You hated this in the store."

"I did not," Finn replied. "I just think it's a little too much. Even so," he continued as Kurt started to interrupt, "it looks great on you."

Kurt smiled in satisfaction. Even though he knew Finn didn't care for the outfit, he could tell by the appreciative gleam in his eye that it didn't matter. He thought Kurt looked good in everything. A wonderful trait to have in a boyfriend.

It was the last week of Christmas break. Sectionals were over, and since they had won first place, they now had Regionals to look forward to. They had been really busy with final exams, Glee practice, and the holidays. Now things were finally slowing down.

And so they had gone to the mall today and spent all Kurt's Christmas money on clothes. At first Finn thought this might be his 'making it up to Kurt' task. He didn't really like to shop and anytime he went with Quinn, it was torture. However, he found he actually had a good time. Kurt was hilarious, and he really had the sales girls hopping. Although he asked Finn's opinion from time to time, he knew what he liked and didn't need Finn to agree with him. Finn loved that he was so confident in himself, because really he didn't know anything about fashion. And Kurt honestly did look great in everything.

Kurt soon returned, now back in his original outfit, and sat on the couch next to Finn.

"What?" he said in response to Finn, who was just smiling and watching him.

"This is nice," he replied. "Nothing to do… just spending time together."

"It is nice," Kurt agreed, returning his smile. "But I'm a little nervous about tonight."

"There's no reason to be nervous, Kurt. My mom thinks you're great."

"But usually we're in your room. This is a spending a whole evening with her."

Finn laughed. "Kurt, if I can spend time with your dad… I was terrified, by the way… then I think you will do fine with my mom."

Kurt giggled then, remembering that particular evening. His dad had glared… not yet ready to forgive, and Finn had been so nervous.

"So what are we going to do?" Kurt asked curiously.

"Well, we're going to have dinner…"

"I know that," Kurt replied. "I mean, what are we doing afterwards? I think we need a plan this time. Just sitting awkwardly with my dad didn't go as well as I had hoped."

"I thought we could play Wii."

"You're joking."

"No, Kurt," he said, trying not to laugh at the look on Kurt's face. "I'm not. My mom loves to play Wii. She bought it because she knows how much I love to play video games, and she thought this would be something we could do together."

At Kurt's skeptical look he added, "It's fun."

"I have never played that or actually any video game, Finn. Now, I'm really nervous!"

Finn laughed. "It's not hard, Kurt. My three year old cousin can play."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"My mom won't be home for another hour. Why don't we practice? Then you'll see how easy it is."

Kurt still looked unconvinced.

"I did go shopping with you," Finn reminded him.

"Fine, but I make no promises as to my ability."

"You can chose the game… do you want to play baseball, tennis, bowling, boxing, or golf."

"Finn, those are all sports games."

"Yeah, that's because we have Wii Sports."

"That's it?"

"We also have Wii Fit," he said. "I used my money from Olive Garden to buy it for my mom."

Neither of them mentioned the fact that the money was originally set aside for Quinn's baby.

"It's kind of cool. When you first get on the board, it tells you how much you weigh and if your weight is normal or not."

"Absolutely not."

"Then I repeat… do you want to play baseball, tennis…"

"Bowling," Kurt said quickly.

Finn started up the game and clicked on a tiny figure that looked remarkably like Finn.

"Okay, this is my Mii. Now we have to make one for you."

"He's adorable, Finn."

"Well, yeah… it _is_ me," Finn said smiling.

The next twenty minutes were spent perfecting Kurt's Mii figure. He wasn't happy until it was exactly right, and he was noticeably unhappy about the lack of fashion for the little figures.

"I'll be sure to let Nintendo know about that," Finn said with a laugh, as they finished the settings for the game.

Finn demonstrated the way to work the controllers, and Kurt tried to copy his moves. Unfortunately his first throw was a gutter ball… and his second.

"This is a disaster, Finn. I can't do this."

"Giving up so soon, Kurt?" Finn said as he threw a perfect strike.

Kurt just rolled his eyes at the other boy.

"I thought you went bowling with your dad."

"I don't actually bowl. It messes up my nails," Kurt explained. "I usually just keep score."

"Here, let me show you. You just need to get the hang of it."

Finn came up behind Kurt and put his left hand on Kurt's hip. He then took his right hand and put it over Kurt's hand that was holding the controller.

"You need to keep your arm straight as you throw."

"I did," Kurt said but his voice sounded somewhat out of breath.

Finn brought their hands back and then forward again to throw. Kurt seemed to have a hard time focusing, and he didn't release the ball properly. The result was that on screen, everyone in the audience jumped as the ball was pointed at them.

Kurt giggled at that. "I am truly awful at bowling in real life and on video games."

"That happens to everyone," he explained. "You just need to work on your concentration."

"Really," Kurt replied as Finn pushed against him.

"Throw again."

Kurt took a deep breath as he prepared to throw his ball again. Finn was making it difficult for him to focus, and he knew that was the other boy's intention. Kurt was determined not to let him win at his little game.

Kurt threw the ball again and this time he got two pins. He might have been able to get more if Finn hadn't decided to slip his left hand into the pocket of Kurt's jeans.

"Finn, that's not fair."

"Problem, Kurt?" the other boy whispered. "Remember to just flick your wrist when you throw. Now go ahead and pick up the spare."

Kurt brought his hand back to throw again just as Finn kissed the back of his neck.

Another gutter ball.

At this point though, Kurt didn't care about the game anymore. Finn wrapped his arms around him to pull him closer. He was still kissing Kurt's neck, and the other boy dropped the controller he was holding to reach behind him. He ran his hand through Finn's hair and pulled him closer.

With everything going on, they still hadn't actually _been_ together. Of course they wouldn't be doing that today, either. Not with Finn's mom coming home shortly.

Kurt turned around then and kissed Finn. He put his hands around Finn's neck and stretched up, trying to get as close as possible. Finn did his part by pulling him against him. A familiar sensation caught Kurt's attention.

"Finn," he said softly. "I think there's something in your pocket that needs your attention."

"Crap!" Finn said taking the vibrating phone out of his jeans. Moving his hands, Kurt placed them around Finn's waist.

"Finn?" Kurt was still holding on tight and could actually hear Mrs. Hudson on the other end.

"Hi, Mom," Finn replied.

"Is Kurt there with you?"

"Yes, he's here." _Right here._

Kurt decided it was his turn to test Finn's concentration. He reached up and placed small kisses on Finn's neck.

"Okay, well… I have some bad news. One of the girls couldn't come in so I'm going to have to cover for her."

"Um…" Finn's reply was barely audible, as Kurt placed his hands under Finn's shirt.

"Finn. Are you listening to me?" she asked.

"Yeah, Mom."

"You're playing video games, aren't you? You know I hate it when I'm trying to talk to you and your doing that."

Kurt suppressed a giggle.

"Sorry, Mom," Finn said, trying to push the other boy away so he could concentrate. Kurt wasn't letting go.

"What did I say, Finn?"

"Um… you said you wouldn't be home tonight until late."

"Okay," she said placated. "Tell Kurt, I'm sorry. I was looking forward to tonight but, I can't pass up the extra money."

"I'll tell him, Mom," Finn said, staring into Kurt's eyes as the other boy smiled mischievously.

Finn ended the call and looked at him accusingly.

"Kurt," he started but the other boy interrupted him.

"Problem, Finn? I think you just need to work on your concentration."

As if in answer, Finn grabbed Kurt and kissed him until he was dazed and clinging to him. He then pulled him over to the couch and onto his lap.

Kurt giggled at him as Finn's hands wandered over his body.

"Are you happy, Kurt?"

"Ecstatic, Finn."

"Good," he said. "Then I have done my job."

Kurt let his hands wander over Finn's chest. "You know, Finn," he said. "You don't have to always please everyone. You always think about me, but I want to focus on you."

"Kurt, you talk too much," he said, as he pulled the other boy closer to him.

"I'm serious, Finn. I want to know what you want. Anything… I would do anything for you. Just tell me."

Finn looked serious as he thought about what the other boy said. "Right now, Kurt, I just want you to kiss me."

Kurt smiled as he touched his lips softly to Finn's. He tried to put a lot of emotion in the kiss. He wanted Finn to know how much he cared about him.

As they parted, Finn continued, his voice huskier, "And I would really like it if you touched me… right _there,_" he said, placing Kurt's hand where he wanted it. "And, Kurt," he added. "Don't be afraid to use that wrist action I showed you earlier."

Kurt giggled at him. "You know… I am a quick learner," he said, proceeding to demonstrate his new skill.

Finn closed his eyes, enjoying the sensations Kurt was invoking. "Hmmm… you are good, but it doesn't hurt to practice…" he said with a smile. Finn kissed him again before pulling away.

"Kurt, I think we need to take this to my room. There is a slight chance that my mom could still show up, and I really don't want her to find us naked and sweaty on the couch.

Kurt nodded his agreement, and let Finn lead him into the bedroom. He'd had a mental picture of them naked and sweaty, and he was having trouble breathing.

Finn took off his shirt and pulled Kurt onto the bed with him. He took his phone out of his pocket and turned it off before placing it on the night stand. Slowly, he unbuttoned Kurt's shirt and pushed the expensive material out of his way. Kurt watched his progress with a sudden realization. They were actually going to do this. There would be no phone calls, no parents, no ex-girlfriends… nothing to interrupt them.

Finn kissed him and then looked at him with concern. "Are you okay, Kurt? You're kind of quiet. Are you sure this is what you want?"

Kurt reached up and touched Finn's face tenderly.

There were no preparations… no candy, no flowers, no candles, no music…

He nodded at him. "This is what I want, Finn. I love you."

Finn smiled in relief. "I love you, too, Kurt."

It was perfect.

It was more than he could ever have imagined…

…and all that he ever wanted.


End file.
